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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. At what type of cafe does Dirk take up residence after buying his I Ching calculator?
(a) A French cafe.
(b) An Islington cafe.
(c) An Irish cafe.
(d) A Cotswold cafe.

2. What kind of pizza does Kate want?
(a) A Nordic Supreme.
(b) An American Hot.
(c) A Sicilian Prime.
(d) A Tuscan Basil.

3. What does Dirk steal from Sally Mills often to have sent to his hotel room?
(a) Live chickens.
(b) Gold-covered edible ants.
(c) Ten boxes of uncooked lo mein.
(d) A dozen lobsters.

4. What kind of unsolicited advice does Kate's neighbor give her?
(a) Relationship.
(b) Clothing.
(c) Decorating.
(d) Parenting.

5. Who does Dennis Hutch work for?
(a) The Chrysalis Record Company.
(b) The Aries Rising Record Group.
(c) The Queen.
(d) The Pentagon.

6. Why does Kate think the mechanic pawned the tow job off on his son?
(a) Because her car is old.
(b) Because she is an American.
(c) Because the accident is not bad enough.
(d) Because Dirk is with her.

7. What "unmistakable quality" does Dirk think Anstey's complaining neighbor has about her?
(a) Advertising
(b) Sergeant-like.
(c) Fashionista.
(d) Soccer mom.

8. Why is the African diplomat brought to Woodshead?
(a) To get his toe operated on.
(b) To consider buying the place.
(c) To evaluate it for his ailing mother.
(d) To get gallstones removed.

9. How does the boy that Dirk encounters in the attic room drink his soda?
(a) Through his nose.
(b) Through a moldy straw.
(c) Through a hosepipe.
(d) Standing on his head.

10. What does the mechanic claim damaged the sensitive parts of the engine workings of Dirk's car?
(a) A family of starlings.
(b) A plate of pancakes.
(c) A pound of saltwater taffy.
(d) A squirrel.

11. At Anstey's house, Gilks tells Dirk to quit standing there like a _____.
(a) Deer in the headlights.
(b) Dugong.
(c) Tree.
(d) Drunken sailor.

12. What kind of car is the first one that slows down and asks about the crash between Kate and Dirk, then drives off without helping?
(a) A Dodge Viper.
(b) A Chevy Camaro.
(c) A Ford Focus.
(d) A Ford Sienna.

13. Who does Dirk call to get a new refrigerator?
(a) Smokin' Joe Brimmington.
(b) Gerry Rilke.
(c) Kerry Kuykin.
(d) Nobby Paxton.

14. What reason did Dirk's secretary give for looking for a new job?
(a) Boredom.
(b) Sexual harrassment.
(c) Regularity of pay.
(d) Working conditions.

15. What is Odin's favorite pastime at Woodshead?
(a) Sleeping.
(b) Eating.
(c) Watching television.
(d) Running from the nuns.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who recorded "Hot Potato"?

2. What falls from behind the gold record when Dirk adjusts it?

3. What does Thor call Toe Rag?

4. Who was Kate's therapist after her husband died?

5. What color button does the I Ching say to push once Dirk achieves inner harmony and tranquility?

(see the answer keys)

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