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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is on the dashboard of the car that Adam and Tender steal?
(a) A bobbing head Tender.
(b) The Book of Very Common Prayer.
(c) The Tender Branson Dashboard Statuette.
(d) A road map.

2. What does Tender hope will happen to him if he gets caught?
(a) He will get the electric chair.
(b) He will be a hero.
(c) They will only give him a fine.
(d) He will get a short prison sentence.

3. What happens on Tender's television show?
(a) He is interviewed by a well-known journalist.
(b) He talks about his relationship with Fertility.
(c) He kills himself.
(d) He grants wishes to the poor.

4. The morning after sleeping together, where does Fertility tell Tender she is going?
(a) Spain.
(b) Mexico.
(c) New York.
(d) Australia.

5. What was Adam's last wish?
(a) For Fertility to visit his grave.
(b) For Fertility and Adam to have sex.
(c) For the Creedish land to be burned.
(d) For Tender to hug him.

6. Which of the following is NOT part of Tender's makeover?
(a) Electrolysis.
(b) Dermabrasion.
(c) Chemical peels.
(d) Lasik surgery.

7. Where does Tender get the answers to the questions he is asked on his television show?
(a) From his own thoughts.
(b) From an audio cue in his ear.
(c) From a teleprompter.
(d) From a paper given to him by the agent.

8. Where is the Creedish land located?
(a) Washington.
(b) Nebraska.
(c) Utah.
(d) Montana.

9. How long has the agent's company been waiting to see who the last Creedish member would be?
(a) Six months.
(b) Six weeks.
(c) Two days.
(d) A year.

10. After the Super Bowl, what do the media begin referring to Tender as?
(a) Tender the Con Artist.
(b) Tender the Antichrist.
(c) Tender the Loser.
(d) Tender the Savior.

11. What gets lodged in Adam's eye?
(a) An eyelash.
(b) The Tender Branson Dashboard Statuette.
(c) The fist of a trucker he got into a fight with.
(d) An insect.

12. What does Tender begin to have on his journey with Fertility and Adam?
(a) Panic attacks.
(b) Stomach aches.
(c) Dreams about the future.
(d) Nightmares.

13. What is Tender's perfume actually?
(a) A mix of bleach and ammonia.
(b) Water.
(c) Another perfume.
(d) Chlorine.

14. Where does Tender bury Adam?
(a) Underneath a local bridge.
(b) In the ocean.
(c) Underneath piles of pornography.
(d) In the family plot at the cemetery.

15. Where do Fertility, Adam and Tender hide out after the Super Bowl?
(a) A Ronald McDonald house.
(b) Fertility's apartment.
(c) In the bathroom of Wendy's.
(d) PornFill.

Short Answer Questions

1. What do the people who call Tender's television show want?

2. What is the agent actually taking but calling ChemoSolv?

3. What can possibly make people angry about the Book of Very Common Prayer?

4. Complete the sentence. Fertility tells Tender that she will not always be with Tender physically, but ______.

5. According to the agent, how far do suicides date back to?

(see the answer keys)

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