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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does Seinfeld say cannot tell time?
(a) Doctors
(b) Pharmacists
(c) Psychiatrists
(d) Secretaries

2. Where does Seinfeld think is a scary place to work?
(a) Hoffritz
(b) Radioshack
(c) Walmart
(d) Macdonalds

3. What does Seinfeld think life boils down to?
(a) Love
(b) Laughter
(c) Drinking
(d) Movement

4. What does Seinfeld say is all his father does in Florida?
(a) Play golf
(b) Take saunas and hot tubs
(c) Watch television
(d) Sleep

5. What kind of uniform caused boys to beat Seinfeld up?
(a) Mafia
(b) Ballerina
(c) Cub Scouts
(d) Salvation Army

6. What does Seinfeld's unemployed friend have to work hard at doing?
(a) Feeling happy
(b) Finding something to do
(c) Waking up in the morning
(d) Keeping his benefits

7. What did Seinfeld's teachers write on his test papers?
(a) Not to standard
(b) Good try
(c) Vague
(d) Just passed

8. What should Seinfeld think the IRS should do?
(a) Lower the tax rate
(b) Move to another universe
(c) Liven up the process of being audited
(d) Change their name

9. What seafood does Seinfeld think it is cruel to eat?
(a) Crab
(b) Carp
(c) Oysters
(d) Lobster

10. Why does Seinfeld think it is funny that the police always have to give someone the Miranda?
(a) People know it from TV
(b) Other people have to be helped
(c) The criminal could get away
(d) People never listen to it

11. What does Seinfeld say he has never had?
(a) A long term relationship
(b) A Budweiser
(c) A Long Island Ice Tea
(d) A real job

12. What does Seinfeld say people like to recommend to each other?
(a) Musicians
(b) Doctors
(c) Dentists
(d) Lawyers

13. What does Seinfeld say he thinks about a lot?
(a) Marriage
(b) Stealing
(c) Jail
(d) Stranger women

14. What does Seinfeld say he was afraid to touch in his parents' house?
(a) The thermometer
(b) The silver cutlery
(c) The Grandfather clock
(d) The bronze statues

15. What does Seinfeld say people do when they get older?
(a) Shrink
(b) Become boring
(c) Lose their humor
(d) Give up

Short Answer Questions

1. What kind of shows does Seinfeld find very entertaining?

2. What does Seinfeld hate the clerk doing when he goes shopping?

3. What does Seinfeld think workers should come up with so they don't have to think of different replies?

4. What part of the zoo does Seinfeld talk about?

5. What does Seinfeld say he likes about his life?

(see the answer keys)

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