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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Seinfeld think that people will one day show others how to save themselves from in a commercial?
(a) Choking
(b) Heart attacks
(c) Strokes
(d) Cancer

2. What kind of voice does Seinfeld like a woman to have?
(a) A giggly voice
(b) A high voice
(c) A breathy voice
(d) A deep voice

3. What can a woman do to a man?
(a) Cook for him
(b) Suffocate him
(c) Paralyze him
(d) Take away his freedom

4. Who does Seinfeld feel sorry for in the subway?
(a) The token taker
(b) The cleaner
(c) The train driver
(d) The ticket seller

5. Why is Seinfeld always nervous when he drives to the airport?
(a) He may have to pick up a strange hitchhiker
(b) He may miss his flight
(c) He may crash
(d) He may have forgotten something

6. What does Seinfeld say it says when someone buys you a paperweight?
(a) I felt I had to buy you something
(b) I put no effort into this gift
(c) I don't like you
(d) You were an after thought

7. Why do limos confuse Seinfeld?
(a) They always go too slowly
(b) Their windows are tinted
(c) They are too long
(d) You never see anyone get in or out

8. What is the title of this chapter?
(a) Paldom
(b) The gift of friendship
(c) The male code
(d) Getting the message

9. What do you risk happening at the end of a date?
(a) Being turned away
(b) Being naked
(c) Feeling deflated
(d) Feeling drunk

10. Why do Seinfeld's friends presume he is gay?
(a) He is neat
(b) He does not like sport
(c) He drinks wine
(d) He has many girlfriends

11. What kind of stores does Seinfeld think are overpriced?
(a) Airport stores
(b) Diamond stores
(c) Theme park stores
(d) Hotel stores

12. What does Seinfeld think is funny?
(a) Drinking
(b) His humor
(c) Exercise
(d) Smoking

13. What does Seinfeld say seems to have very active social lives?
(a) Writers
(b) Ventriloquist dummies
(c) Comedians
(d) Super heroes

14. What does Seinfeld observe men often act like?
(a) Sperm
(b) Testicles
(c) Snot
(d) Saliva

15. What does Seinfeld say a man is buried in when he dies?
(a) His suit
(b) His tracksuit
(c) His pajamas
(d) His baseball shirt

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Seinfeld picture when he hears the word nightcap?

2. What does Seinfeld want to have on him when he sees people he knows walking down the street?

3. What does Seinfeld believe men are like when it comes to sex?

4. What does Seinfeld say he is curious about?

5. What does Seinfeld like to pretend he is when he is talking to a friend he does not like?

(see the answer keys)

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