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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who finds da Vinci's lost notebook, according to the narrator?
(a) Michael Jackson.
(b) Interpol.
(c) Jon Stewart.
(d) Senor Jangles.

2. On whose behalf does Eileen send the Christmas card?
(a) Santa Claus.
(b) Gary and the Hanson family.
(c) God.
(d) The cat.

3. What does Diana ask Teresa in her letter in "Pen Pals"?
(a) If she loves her job.
(b) If they could exchange baby pictures.
(c) If Teresa would give her away at her wedding.
(d) If Mother Teresa is married.

4. To whom do the Kennedys give an "extra child"?
(a) The narrator's father.
(b) Princess Diana.
(c) Mother Teresa.
(d) The President.

5. What does Al Haig give up to get Ford to sign Nixon's pardon?
(a) His favorite watch.
(b) His Cross pen.
(c) His sense of humor.
(d) His top hat.

6. Whose non-kosher offerings are too delicious to resist, according to the narrator of "The New Judaism"?
(a) Cheesesteaks.
(b) Burger King.
(c) Pigs in a blanket.
(d) BBQ.

7. What is the profession of Senor Jangles' murderer in "Local News"?
(a) Seamstress.
(b) Truck driver.
(c) Dog sitter.
(d) Taco cook.

8. How long do the visitors in the vagina stay, according to the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina"?
(a) Up to nine months.
(b) Years.
(c) Usually only three to ten minutes.
(d) Forever.

9. Who do Jewish conservatives believe is the funniest man alive according to the narrator of "The New Judaism"?
(a) Woody Allen.
(b) Seinfeld.
(c) The rabbi.
(d) Jimmy Stewart.

10. According to the narrator of "The New Judaism", who do the Orthodox believe is the funniest man alive?
(a) Johnny Carson.
(b) Seinfeld.
(c) Jackie Mason.
(d) Jimmy Stewart.

11. Who arrives last to Jesus' dinner in "The Last Supper"?
(a) Paul.
(b) Mark.
(c) Matthew.
(d) Luke.

12. Why is Jack Kennedy sad being at Choate?
(a) He is the only Catholic.
(b) He hates school.
(c) He misses his family.
(d) He wants to be Jewish.

13. What does Eileen Hanson ask for in a "P.S." in her Christmas card?
(a) Some fancy nightgowns.
(b) Prayer for her addiction.
(c) A new husband.
(d) Money to repair a cleft lip.

14. What does the narrator of "Martha Stewart's Vagina" say is the "centerpiece of your personal style"?
(a) Underwear.
(b) The vagina.
(c) Your clothing.
(d) The nude female body.

15. Why is Eileen's handwriting sloppy?
(a) She is drunk and/or high.
(b) She is writing in her limousine.
(c) Her heart is pounding.
(d) She is going through withdrawal.

Short Answer Questions

1. When does Spain offer Jews conversion or expulsion?

2. What sort of accident does Teddy Kennedy have during the trip?

3. What does the narrator of "Breakfast at Kennedy's" find inside a darkened bunker?

4. What time is Jesus' party seated in "The Last Supper"?

5. On what holiday does Jesus have his dinner in "The Last Supper"?

(see the answer keys)

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