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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who does Ellen's logic make sense to?
(a) Herself.
(b) Her mother.
(c) Her editor.
(d) Nobody.

2. What does Ellen say would have made her rich in Chapter 25?
(a) Following her mother's advice.
(b) Getting a nickel every time she was an idiot.
(c) Selling her book.
(d) Investing smartly.

3. Where was Ellen's hospital?
(a) Beverly Hills.
(b) Los Angeles.
(c) Fresno.
(d) Laurel Canyon.

4. What did Ellen think when she saw a woman praying for two hours?
(a) She figured she had fallen asleep.
(b) She envied her devotion.
(c) She wanted her to stop to give others a chance.
(d) She thought she must have had a lot to repent of.

5. Why does Ellen say nobody ever sees us look like an idiot?
(a) They are not as judgmental as we think.
(b) All of these.
(c) They are too worried about someone noticing their idiotic act.
(d) We rarely do truly stupid things.

6. What is Chapter 13 about?
(a) Acting.
(b) Feminism.
(c) Reading.
(d) Nothing.

7. How does Ellen define a celebrity?
(a) Someone who is largely successful.
(b) All of these.
(c) Someone who has been on TV.
(d) Someone who is easily recognized.

8. What did Ellen create for people to talk to her?
(a) A treatise.
(b) A contract.
(c) A punch line.
(d) A template.

9. What is Ellen not convinced about with zoos?
(a) They helped animals.
(b) They harmed animals.
(c) They spread awareness.
(d) There were natural habitats created.

10. What kind of pets other than dogs did Ellen have when she wrote this book?
(a) Ferrets.
(b) Hedgehogs.
(c) Fish.
(d) Cats.

11. What did Ellen have to describe at the hospital?
(a) Her insurance.
(b) Her experience.
(c) Her symptoms.
(d) Her mother.

12. How does Ellen suggest one avoid having friends gossip?
(a) Dump the friends.
(b) Stay in the room with friends at all times.
(c) Never do anything gossip worthy.
(d) Spread new rumors.

13. Who does Ellen say she blames when tripping on the sidewalk?
(a) Herself.
(b) Her partner.
(c) The sidewalk.
(d) Her entourage.

14. How many points does Q get in Scrabble?
(a) 5.
(b) 10.
(c) 8.
(d) 4.

15. What does Ellen do for stray dogs?
(a) Take them to the vet.
(b) Take them to shelters.
(c) Adopt them.
(d) Sell them.

Short Answer Questions

1. How did Ellen think she sounded when she sung in her head?

2. What is Ellen most grateful for in her life?

3. What was Ellen's advice column called?

4. What compliment did the doctor give Ellen at the ER?

5. What happened when Ellen was trying to get help at the hospital?

(see the answer keys)

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