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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Where would the winning contestant's trip take them in Bombeck's game show scenario?
(a) Rome, New York.
(b) Venice, Illinois.
(c) Paris, Texas.
(d) Rome, Italy.

2. What did Bombeck once claim she would be if she did not emphasize the truthfulness in recounting her son's bad habits?
(a) A traitor to women.
(b) An irresponsible writer.
(c) A liar.
(d) A terrible mother.

3. In "Constitutionality of Drive-in Windows," what did Bombeck decide she would rather do as opposed to getting out of her car?
(a) Have her husband take care of the errands.
(b) Take her business elsewhere.
(c) Grow longer arms.
(d) Send her child inside.

4. In "Kissing By Mutual Ratification," what is not one of the items listed as object for which a person should watch?
(a) Pins.
(b) Toothpicks.
(c) Staples.
(d) Earrings.

5. How did Bombeck sarcastically refer to the restaurant they walked into in "The Right to Declare War?"
(a) A meat locker.
(b) A college dorm.
(c) A grocery store.
(d) A house of horrors.

6. In the theoretical game show scenario, what would the winning currency be?
(a) Yen.
(b) Italian Lira.
(c) Pesos.
(d) Francs.

7. What did Bombeck believe a baby should be allowed to decide?
(a) The baby should be allowed to decide whether they want a playdate.
(b) The baby should be allowed to decide whether they want to be dressed up all of the time.
(c) The baby should be allowed to decide whether they want to be passed around at parties.
(d) The baby should be allowed to decide whether to eat baby food.

8. What were Bombeck's friends' opinions on game shows?
(a) They used them to learn new facts.
(b) They gambled on them.
(c) They were obsessed with them.
(d) They believed they were bad you.

9. Where did Bombeck feel particularly self-conscious in "Constitutionality of Drive-in Windows?"
(a) Banks.
(b) Mailboxes.
(c) Restaurants.
(d) Pharmacies.

10. In "Illegal Possession of Junk Food," what would Bombeck sell on a trial basis to trick kids into eating better?
(a) Fresh vegetables.
(b) Fresh fruit.
(c) Freshly baked cookies.
(d) Milkshakes.

11. In "Joe Carter's Jubilance and Excitement Seminar," how many aspects of decorum were listed?
(a) Three.
(b) Four.
(c) Five.
(d) Six.

12. Read the following statement: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." Of what is that statement an example in Bombeck's son's paper?
(a) Common sense.
(b) Teaching lessons.
(c) Punishment.
(d) Humor.

13. In Bombeck's analogy for children, why is their success bittersweet?
(a) They will never come home again.
(b) They will not need to rely exclusively on you anymore.
(c) They will soon break free.
(d) A mother no longer knows their children best.

14. In Bombeck's son's example of his mother's lessons in logic, what would prevent a child from not being allowed to go to the store?
(a) Wearing dirty clothes from the day before.
(b) Getting anything lower than a B on their report cards.
(c) Getting a detention from the principal.
(d) Hurting themselves if they fall off their bikes.

15. Why would Bombeck have felt self-conscious during "Constitutionality of Drive-in Windows?"
(a) Her children were acting up.
(b) She could not figure out how to work the ATM.
(c) She knew she was being filmed in the drive-through lane.
(d) Her muffler was really loud.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who was Bombeck's son bringing home at the end of "How to Speak Child Fluently?"

2. What did Bombeck claim to do when she saw her daughter's ears were pierced?

3. For what reasons would one call legal aid on an exist ramp?

4. What law did Bombeck decide should exist in "Register Camera Nuts?"

5. What was Jackie's husband's response when asked what the most embarrassing moment of their wedding had been?

(see the answer keys)

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