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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does the narrator build so he won't be outdone by the Cottinghams?
(a) Soccer field.
(b) Baseball field.
(c) Rotunda.
(d) Skating rink.

2. Where does the mother perform surgery on her own son, according to Jim Timothy?
(a) Car.
(b) Barn.
(c) Yard.
(d) Kitchen.

3. The narrator of "Christmas Means Giving" says generosity can should induce feelings of _________ in others.
(a) Awe.
(b) Inspiration.
(c) Pride.
(d) Shame.

4. To what charity did the narrator give $2 in "Christmas Means Giving"?
(a) Clean Water Fund.
(b) Inner City Headache Fund.
(c) Clean Air Fund.
(d) Inner City Holiday Fun.

5. What does Doug Cottingham have a collection of?
(a) Pre-Cambrian death beds.
(b) Pre-Columbian sofa beds.
(c) Post-Coumbian pottery.
(d) Post-Lincolnian pipes.

6. What is the name of the town where Jim Timothy is speaking to a church congregation?
(a) Jessep's Breath.
(b) Jasper's Breath.
(c) Jethro's Breath.
(d) Jacob's Breath.

7. The Cottinghams donate Eileen to _________.
(a) A needy family.
(b) A pirate crew.
(c) Science.
(d) A beggar.

8. What is all over the beggar's beard when he shows up at the narrator's door in "Christmas Means Giving"?
(a) Mud.
(b) Jam.
(c) Blood.
(d) Dressing.

9. What are all the top hats made from in the performances Thaddeus Bristol sees?
(a) Oatmeal canisters.
(b) Felt.
(c) Trashcans.
(d) Buckets.

10. What do the Cottinghams send out for a Christmas card?
(a) Family pictured working at a soup kitchen.
(b) Family pictured with last year's gifts.
(c) Xeroxed copy of stock portfolio.
(d) Dollar bills.

11. What does Jim Timothy say is an indication he is not from the area?
(a) His teeth.
(b) His hair.
(c) His money.
(d) His accent.

12. What does Thaddeus Bristol refer to the performers as at Jane Snow-Hernandez Elementary School?
(a) Professionals.
(b) Sadists.
(c) Amateurs.
(d) Cuties.

13. Jim Timothy says the best stories are what?
(a) True.
(b) Sad.
(c) Free.
(d) Funny.

14. What might the narrator of "Christmas Means Giving" give his wife for a stocking stuffer?
(a) Bowling ball shiner.
(b) New car.
(c) Hedge polisher.
(d) Fur-lined jeans.

15. How much time does Jim Timothy give the congregation to take him up on his offer?
(a) 3 weeks.
(b) 3 days.
(c) 3 minutes.
(d) 3 hours.

Short Answer Questions

1. What show does Thaddeus Bristol say the Scottsfield Dinner Theater put on in 1994?

2. Jim Timothy's interns only open letters from where?

3. What is the narrator's family watching after a "gut busting" Thanksgiving dinner in "Christmas Means Giving"?

4. How much cash is Jim Timothy offering each member of the church congregation?

5. Where do they find the narrator's dead sons?

(see the answer keys)

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