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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Sedaris dreams of writing for ___________.
(a) General Hospital.
(b) Days of Our Lives.
(c) One Life to Live.
(d) All My Children.

2. How old is Sedaris is "SantaLand Diaries"?
(a) 43.
(b) 23.
(c) 33.
(d) 53.

3. Where does Sedaris picture Socrates helping after he loses his memory?
(a) St. Louis.
(b) Denver.
(c) Las Vegas.
(d) Santa Fe.

4. What name do the Dunbar's call Jackelyn's baby?
(a) John.
(b) Don.
(c) Ted.
(d) Joe.

5. Who is the most adorable elf in SantaLand?
(a) Snowball.
(b) Crumpet.
(c) Sleighbell.
(d) Puff.

6. Where did Sedaris apply for a job the day before seeing the SanatLand ad?
(a) UPS.
(b) FedEx.
(c) U.S. Army.
(d) Mary Kay.

7. How many pages of forms does Sedaris fill out for his elf application?
(a) 10.
(b) 2.
(c) 15.
(d) 5.

8. How many of Santa's visitors does Sedaris estimate are adults?
(a) One half.
(b) One fifth.
(c) One fourth.
(d) One third.

9. Who does Sedaris discuss the Santa/Satan connection with?
(a) Puff.
(b) Sleighbell.
(c) Snowball.
(d) Crumpet.

10. What does Khe Sahn's interpreter want to be paid to teach her English?
(a) $15/hour.
(b) $22/hour.
(c) $17/hour.
(d) $20/hour.

11. Sedaris says he wants to be an elf because it is a _________ career opportunity.
(a) Promising.
(b) Dismal.
(c) Good.
(d) Frightening.

12. What is Lisa Sedaris's job at the cafeteria?
(a) Steam tables.
(b) Dish washer.
(c) Meat carver.
(d) Salad prep.

13. How long has Sedaris been in New York at the beginning of "SantaLand Diaries?"
(a) 3 weeks.
(b) 3 months.
(c) 6 weeks.
(d) 6 months.

14. What item of Dinah's do the Sedaris girls try on?
(a) Rabbit coat.
(b) False eyelashes.
(c) Mink coat.
(d) Rings.

15. Sedaris hopes to gain wisdom from the _______ that work at the cafeteria with him.
(a) Convicts.
(b) Students.
(c) Managers.
(d) Women.

Short Answer Questions

1. What does Sedaris feel for the shoppers who come to eat at the cafeteria where he works?

2. How many letters did Clifford Dunbar send to his wife while he was in the service?

3. Everything about the_______ intimidates Sedaris in SantaLand.

4. Sedaris hopes to end every episode of "Socrates and Company" with what?

5. What is the name of the neighbor who reports seeing Jocelyn Dunbar on the afternoon of the murder?

(see the answer keys)

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