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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. In "Lady Marmalade," what is the name of the reform school that Tiffany was sent to?
(a) The Oakley School.
(b) Provo Canyon School.
(c) The Élan School.
(d) Running Springs School.

2. In "Fresh-Caught Haddock," what does Bermey say caused him to lose sympathy for the Black Lives Matter movement?
(a) The looting and vandalism.
(b) The removal of Confederate monuments.
(c) The rebranding of two popular syrups.
(d) The renaming of a Raleigh neighborhood.

3. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," why does Sedaris spend months thinking about a show he did in Vancouver?
(a) It is the last show before the pandemic temporarily halts his touring.
(b) The box office attendant is very rude to Sedaris.
(c) A man carrying a gun is stopped at the theater door.
(d) A celebrity that Sedaris has seen on television attends this performance.

4. In "Pussytoes," what does Amy claim women's bathrooms smell like?
(a) Feces.
(b) Perfume.
(c) Mildew.
(d) Vomit.

5. In "Pearls," what does Sedaris call the "first step to divorce" (156)?
(a) Separate bedrooms.
(b) Counseling.
(c) Silence.
(d) A lack of shared interests.

6. In "A Better Place," what does Sedaris say is the subject of our greatest art?
(a) Death.
(b) Change.
(c) Love.
(d) Family.

7. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris say he has learned through experience never to do on the streets of New York?
(a) Back down from an argument.
(b) Get distracted by his phone.
(c) Flash money or jewelry.
(d) Stop and engage with people.

8. In "A Better Place," what is Sedaris's response to the idea that his father will always be with him?
(a) He does not want his father to be with him.
(b) He will make an effort to swear less, in that case.
(c) His father is not some kind of eternal stalker.
(d) His father was never with him in life.

9. In "Smile, Beautiful," what point is Sedaris trying to convey with the example of the woman whose face was injured by an animal bite?
(a) The language used to describe atypical facial characteristics contributes to discrimination.
(b) People can be proud of themselves and like their own appearance regardless of whether it is typical.
(c) People with serious facial injuries should be pleased to be able to hide their injuries behind a mask.
(d) There is something strange about people who refuse to take advantage of medical interventions to fix serious facial injuries.

10. In "Happy-Go-Lucky," what does Amy catch Sedaris doing at his father's funeral?
(a) Hiding a laugh.
(b) Looking at his phone.
(c) Crying.
(d) Making notes.

11. In "Fresh-Caught Haddock," what is Amy's implied motivation for wanting to take a trip to Emerald Isle?
(a) She feels unsafe in New York during the protests.
(b) She wants to get away from the pandemic response in New York.
(c) She is worried that they have not been to see Lou in several months.
(d) She misses her other siblings and wants to visit them.

12. In "Smile, Beautiful," what nation does Sedaris specifically mention as having more relaxed dental standards than the United States?
(a) England.
(b) France.
(c) Australia.
(d) Japan.

13. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what nickname does Sedaris say he has given Hugh?
(a) Reverend Gentility.
(b) Admiral Anguish.
(c) Viscount Fussybritches.
(d) Congressman Prude.

14. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what does Sedaris assume is true about the "slightly disheveled" front desk clerk (251)?
(a) She has been sleeping on the job.
(b) She is feeling unwell.
(c) She is trying to do multiple jobs at the same time.
(d) She is struggling with personal issues.

15. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," why does the desk clerk at one hotel refuse to believe that the shirt Sedaris left behind belongs to him?
(a) It is in a size much larger than Sedaris would wear.
(b) Its style strikes the clerk as feminine.
(c) Sedaris cannot clearly describe it.
(d) The shirt has someone else's name sewn into it.

Short Answer Questions

1. In the anecdote Sedaris tells about the woman with the facial injury in "Smile, Beautiful," what was the women bitten by?

2. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," what does Sedaris see on the floor at Charlotte Douglas International Airport?

3. In "Lucky-Go-Happy," when is Sedaris finally able to go back to touring?

4. According to "Lady Marmalade," what was unusual about the way Lou usually dressed at home?

5. In "The Vacuum," what does Sedaris's agent say will put sex workers out of business?

(see the answer keys)

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