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Olympia Binewski McGurk (Oly)

This character, an albino hunchback dwarf, is the narrator of the story.

Arturo Binewski (Arty)

Born with flippers instead of hands and feet, this character attempts to cover up his insecurities by becoming overly controlling of everyone and everything else around.

Fortunato (Chick)

This character appears fully normal on the outside but is considered the most powerful and most sensitive Binewski family member.

Elektra and Iphigenia Binewski (Elly and Iphy)

These characters are Siamese twins who possess a talent on the piano as well as a keen sexual power.

Miss Mary Lick

This character is a lone, solitary figure who lives off of a family fortune that funds "projects" to modify women.

Miranda Binewski

This character, who has a tiny tail, is sent to a convent at the age of two.

Lillian Hinchcliff Binewski (Crystal Lil)

This character sees the humanness in each of...

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