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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. Who has Alan actually called?
(a) His boss.
(b) His brother.
(c) His mother.
(d) His wife.

2. How do players of Affairs of the Heart earn extra points?
(a) By verbalizing their feelings to the person they have called.
(b) By not insulting the person they call.
(c) By asking for forgiveness from the person they call.
(d) By not crying when making their phone call.

3. What is Cowboy carrying when he comes into the room?
(a) Birthday balloons.
(b) Two bottles of champagne.
(c) A birthday cake.
(d) A tray of martinis.

4. What game do the men decide to play?
(a) Scattergories.
(b) Affairs of the Heart.
(c) Monopoly.
(d) Trivial Pursuit.

5. Who enters the room after the lights dim?
(a) Cowboy.
(b) Emory.
(c) Alan.
(d) Larry.

6. What item is necessary to play Affairs of the Heart?
(a) A computer.
(b) A phone.
(c) A telescope.
(d) A pen.

7. Donald thinks that things would be better for Michael if only he _____________________________.
(a) Could manage his money better.
(b) Could learn to not hate himself.
(c) Could learn to drive.
(d) Could learn French.

8. Why does Delbert hang up on Emory?
(a) He is repulsed by Emory.
(b) He thinks it is a wrong number.
(c) He does not have time to talk.
(d) He does not remember Emory.

9. What does Harold call Michael?
(a) A fraud.
(b) A homo.
(c) A sad gay man.
(d) A queer.

10. Harold says that his obsessions are _________________.
(a) Paid in full.
(b) Common.
(c) Kinky.
(d) Devastating.

11. Why do the men question giving extra points to Hank?
(a) His expression of love was not sincere.
(b) His expression of love was coerced.
(c) His expression of love was too quick.
(d) His expression of love was given to a phone operator.

12. Who is still depressed about the Affairs of the Heart game?
(a) Michael.
(b) Bernard.
(c) Donald.
(d) Alan.

13. Why has Harold saved barbiturates?
(a) To get a buzz.
(b) To sleep better.
(c) To give to a friend.
(d) To kill himself.

14. What does Michael do with Fran on the phone?
(a) Screams obscenities.
(b) Exchanges pleasantries.
(c) Tells her he loves her.
(d) Tells her Alan is gay.

15. Harold and Michael engage in ______________.
(a) Sex.
(b) A wrestling match.
(c) A board game.
(d) A conversation.

Short Answer Questions

1. Where is Harold encouraged to sit after dinner?

2. What does Michael say Harold lacks?

3. What does Michael tell the group about Harold?

4. What question does Donald ask Michael?

5. What phone number does Hank dial next?

(see the answer keys)

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