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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What does Lena offer the author as a gift in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) A magazine
(b) Nothing
(c) A vacuum cleaner
(d) A chicken

2. Why does Jocelyn repeatedly yell at Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) She believes it will help her understand English better.
(b) She believes Khe Sahn is hard of hearing.
(c) She is always angry at Khe Sahn.
(d) She despises Khe Sahn.

3. What does Malison name each of the characters in his second novel in "After Malison"?
(a) Smithy Smithy
(b) A. Davenport
(c) Malison
(d) Professor Nobody

4. Who is Cassandra Lane in "After Malison"?
(a) A woman in the audience at Malison's reading
(b) Malison's former girlfriend
(c) The narrator's friend from New York City
(d) Malison's current girlfriend

5. What does Hugh require that the narrator do each time he smokes in "Diary of a Smoker"?
(a) Go outside
(b) Open all the windows
(c) Blow the smoke out of the window
(d) Consider the effects of second-hand smoke

6. What does Sedaris notice happens to the giantess characters in the stories as they grow in "Giantess"?
(a) They become sexually distant.
(b) They become gentle and docile.
(c) They like small men even better.
(d) They become moody and aggressive.

7. What reason does the author give for wanting to work at UPS in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) He desperately needs money.
(b) He hears they have excellent benefits.
(c) He likes the uniform.
(d) He sees it as an opportunity to utilize his leadership skills.

8. Where is the camera located in Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) In Santa's hat
(b) In the fireplace
(c) In the elf's hat
(d) In the Magic Star

9. Who are the "really bitter elves" according to the author in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Those who worked in high power jobs before the recession
(b) Want-to-be actors and actresses
(c) College students
(d) Those who have to work with "Santa Santa"

10. Why did Vicki quit chorus during her sophomore year of high school in "Jamboree"?
(a) She hated her music teacher.
(b) She decided to take Art instead.
(c) The music teacher told her she had no talent.
(d) Her brother talked her out of enrolling in chorus.

11. What color does the narrator paint the baby's nursery in "Jamboree"?
(a) Blue
(b) Orange
(c) Pink
(d) Yellow

12. What does Sedaris think every male reader of "Giantess" longs for?
(a) Punishment
(b) A woman
(c) Infancy
(d) Size

13. Which celebrity does the narrator feel the need to point out to visitors to Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Goldie Hawn
(b) Walter Cronkite
(c) Simone from "General Hospital"
(d) Phil Collins

14. What is the only unique thing about people according to the narrator in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Our minds
(b) Our DNA
(c) Our fingerprints
(d) Our interests

15. According to Jocelyn Dunbar in "Season's Greetings...", who is the most intelligent of her children"
(a) Khe Sahn
(b) Kevin
(c) Kyle
(d) Jackelyn

Short Answer Questions

1. Who is the narrator of "Season's Greetings..."?

2. What is the author's opinion of his mother's housekeeper's skills in "The Curly Kind"?

3. Who is Lonnie Tipit in "Season's Greetings..."?

4. How does the author's bedroom differ from the rest of his childhood home in "The Curly Kind"?

5. What frightens the narrator most about his job as an elf in "Santaland Diaries"?

(see the answer keys)

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