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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What is the "Oh My God, Corner" in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) The spot in Macy's where people notice the beautiful Christmas decorations.
(b) The spot in Macy's where most children vomit.
(c) The spot in Macy's where people realize how long the line to see Santa is.
(d) The spot in Macy's where the narrator likes to stand while working as an elf.

2. What does the narrator notice about all of the people hired as elves in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) They are all short.
(b) They are all unemployed actors.
(c) They are all Caucasian.
(d) They are all 18-25 years old.

3. Why did Vicki quit chorus during her sophomore year of high school in "Jamboree"?
(a) She hated her music teacher.
(b) The music teacher told her she had no talent.
(c) Her brother talked her out of enrolling in chorus.
(d) She decided to take Art instead.

4. What color does the narrator paint the baby's nursery in "Jamboree"?
(a) Orange
(b) Blue
(c) Pink
(d) Yellow

5. How does the author's bedroom differ from the rest of his childhood home in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) It is filled with moving boxes.
(b) It is extremely clean.
(c) It is filthy.
(d) It has no furniture in it.

6. Who is Khe Sahn in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Clifford's illegitimate daughter
(b) The Dunbar's maid
(c) Kevin's illegitimate daughter
(d) Kevin's girlfriend

7. What does Khe Sahn wear to Thanksgiving dinner in "Season's Greetings..."?
(a) Nothing
(b) A bikini
(c) A dress Jocelyn made for her
(d) An extremely short dress

8. Who does Vicki end up marrying in "Jamboree"?
(a) Ginger
(b) Marty
(c) Chug
(d) Drew

9. Which of the following is NOT an item in the narrator's duffel bag in "After Malison"?
(a) Malison's books
(b) A change of clothes
(c) Birth control
(d) Bethany's manuscript

10. What does the narrator find in a copy of Mein Kampf in "Barrel Fever"?
(a) Pictures of him as a baby
(b) His mother's yearly New Year's resolutions
(c) His mother's racist manifesto
(d) A letter from his mother

11. What genre is "Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family"?
(a) A short story
(b) A speech
(c) A poem
(d) A letter

12. What does the author pretend he has won in "The Curly Kind"?
(a) An Academy Award
(b) Emmy awards
(c) A Nobel Prize
(d) The lottery

13. What job did Sedaris hope to get on "One Life to Live" in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Writer
(b) Actor
(c) Director
(d) Makeup artist

14. Which celebrity does the narrator feel the need to point out to visitors to Santa Land in "Santaland Diaries"?
(a) Simone from "General Hospital"
(b) Goldie Hawn
(c) Phil Collins
(d) Walter Cronkite

15. What reason does the narrator of "After Malison" give for smoking in the hotel lobby?
(a) She says she is nervous about meeting Malison.
(b) She says her husband doesn't like her smoking in their room.
(c) She says it's too cold to smoke outside.
(d) She says she is waiting for Malison.

Short Answer Questions

1. Who is the narrator of "Barrel Fever"?

2. What excuse does Malison give to Bethany for not going out for a drink with her in "After Malison"?

3. What is Snowball, the elf known for in "Santaland Diaries"?

4. What does the narrator change his elf name to when he has bad days at work in "Santaland Diaries"?

5. What was Clifford's "second biggest mistake of his life" according to his wife in "Season's Greetings..."?

(see the answer keys)

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