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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What are the people that Kurt blames for ruining America born without?
(a) Consciences.
(b) Hearing.
(c) Silver spoons in their mouths.
(d) Eyesight.

2. What type of engine did the Saab cars have in Kurt's day?
(a) Steam.
(b) Two-stroke.
(c) Electric.
(d) Four-stroke.

3. What did the New York Times guarantee were in Iraq?
(a) Terrorists.
(b) American POWs.
(c) Oil wells.
(d) Weapons of mass destruction.

4. What does Kurt tell Joe he must do?
(a) Be a saint.
(b) Make the world a better place.
(c) Be kind.
(d) Live life to the fullest.

5. When did Mark Twain write "The Mysterious Stranger?"
(a) 1878.
(b) 1868.
(c) 1888.
(d) 1898.

6. Whose line of Democratic tradition does Kurt belong to?
(a) John Fitzgerald Kennedy.
(b) Richard Herbert Nixon.
(c) Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
(d) Bill Clinton.

7. What town did Kurt 'black out at high noon?'
(a) Woods Hole.
(b) Woodstock.
(c) Goodwood.
(d) West Wood.

8. Who is Joel Bleifuss?
(a) Kurt's publisher.
(b) Kurt's editor.
(c) Kurt's typesetter.
(d) Kurt's psychiatrist.

9. How much younger is Gil than Kurt?
(a) 51 years.
(b) 5 years.
(c) 36 years.
(d) 12 years.

10. By what ratio do guessers outnumber non-guessers?
(a) Five to one.
(b) Six to one.
(c) Ten to one.
(d) Two to one.

11. What is the only proof Kurt needs for the existence of God?
(a) The sunrise.
(b) Music.
(c) His children.
(d) The singing of birds.

12. What color are the aliens?
(a) Mauve.
(b) Green.
(c) Pink.
(d) Grey.

13. What did the Chinese use gunpowder for?
(a) Bombs.
(b) Mining.
(c) Cannons.
(d) Fireworks.

14. What did Kurt feel like doing to his Uncle Dan?
(a) Killing him.
(b) Thanking him.
(c) Kicking him in the shins.
(d) Nothing.

15. When was The Mask of Sanity published?
(a) 1965.
(b) 1943.
(c) 1954.
(d) 1941.

Short Answer Questions

1. 'The good Earth--we could have saved it, but we were too damn...'

2. How old is Kurt's daughter, Lily?

3. What did Abbie Hoffman say was the new high?

4. What could a Saab drag at a stoplight?

5. How old was the woman?

(see the answer keys)

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