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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. What fact learned in class does the narrator still use in cocktail party conversations?
(a) Cows tip over easily.
(b) Mushrooms grow only at night.
(c) Bolivia exports tin.
(d) Owls never sleep.

2. What might be an item found in the Johnson Smith catalog?
(a) Exploding cigars.
(b) American flags.
(c) History books.
(d) Thermoses.

3. Why did Howard want to sell his car?
(a) It was breaking down a lot.
(b) It was a lemon.
(c) He needed a station wagon for the family.
(d) He got a new car every two years.

4. The narrator recalls sitting in a class taught by _______________.
(a) Mrs. Piedmont.
(b) Mr. Pittinger.
(c) Miss Peterson.
(d) Mr. Pearson.

5. Ironically, the happy, family, outdoorsy vehicle known as the camper is now used by the Mafia as ____________________________.
(a) A whorehouse.
(b) A liquor store.
(c) A gun shop.
(d) A drug den.

6. How did the Igloo finally win the ice cream war?
(a) Started offering sandwiches too.
(b) Gave ice cream for free.
(c) Put a cherry on top of everything.
(d) Added 20 new flavors.

7. What was the name of the General Motors magazine for which the narrator wrote an article?
(a) Highways.
(b) Generalities.
(c) On the Move.
(d) Friends.

8. What does the narrator speculate that the archaeologists will find in the city?
(a) Laptops.
(b) iPods.
(c) Minivans.
(d) TV commercials.

9. What sport does the narrator recall playing with his friends?
(a) Soccer.
(b) Softball.
(c) Football.
(d) Basketball.

10. According to Howard, what are the BNAs?
(a) Banking News Associations.
(b) Bad News Accounts.
(c) Big Network Accounts.
(d) Bananas, Nectarines and Apples.

11. What was the narrator's first class in high school?
(a) Physics.
(b) Latin.
(c) Algebra.
(d) Biology.

12. Why was the narrator always seated at the back of the class?
(a) He is one of the tallest kids in class.
(b) He has perfect eyesight and can see the board from there.
(c) His last name is near the end of the alphabet.
(d) He is not a troublemaker.

13. What might the archaeologists think the car is used for in a Chevrolet commercial?
(a) A church.
(b) A residence.
(c) A cafe.
(d) A school.

14. What kind of car did the narrator's family have?
(a) Chevy.
(b) Buick.
(c) Ford.
(d) Pontiac.

15. What does the narrator especially appreciate about the catalog?
(a) The chatty captions.
(b) The free shipping.
(c) The b&w illustrations.
(d) The prices.

Short Answer Questions

1. The narrator finds that Van people and Camper people are all ________________.

2. What item in the catalog would appeal to the violent?

3. The narrator gives an imaginary lecture on ____________________.

4. According to the narrator, how do Van people drive?

5. What happened to the narrator's middle school diploma?

(see the answer keys)

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