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This test consists of 15 multiple choice questions and 5 short answer questions.

Multiple Choice Questions

1. The narrator gives an imaginary lecture on ____________________.
(a) Car culture.
(b) Baseball.
(c) Art history.
(d) Electronics.

2. The exuberant colors, dancing, and music of the commercials have an element of ______________ about them.
(a) intergalactic communication.
(b) tribal worship.
(c) mating rituals.
(d) schizophrenic behavior.

3. What local landmark did the narrator see when returning to his hometown?
(a) Little League diamonds.
(b) Maid-Rite sandwich shop.
(c) Igloo ice cream parlor.
(d) Yankee soldier statue.

4. The archaeologists will probably think that TV commercials are some form of ______________.
(a) Pornography.
(b) Religion.
(c) Communism.
(d) Mating ritual.

5. What disturbing information did the groundskeeper at the park tell the boys?
(a) The won't be getting lights for the baseball diamond.
(b) A dead body was found in the park.
(c) The park will be closed for the rest of the summer.
(d) The water from the spigot was unfiltered river water.

6. In what class did the narrator's back row fakery defenses not work?
(a) Chemistry.
(b) Algebra.
(c) English.
(d) History.

7. What is masked as a cigar in the catalog?
(a) A lighter.
(b) A flask.
(c) A kaleidoscope.
(d) A flashlight.

8. What does the narrator speculate that the archaeologists will find in the city?
(a) TV commercials.
(b) Laptops.
(c) Minivans.
(d) iPods.

9. How did the Igloo finally win the ice cream war?
(a) Put a cherry on top of everything.
(b) Added 20 new flavors.
(c) Gave ice cream for free.
(d) Started offering sandwiches too.

10. For the most part, Camper people are _________________.
(a) Environmentalists.
(b) Unaware of other drivers.
(c) Former school teachers.
(d) History buffs.

11. Who was the character in the Charmin bathroom tissue commercials?
(a) Mr. Whipple.
(b) Mr. Rogers.
(c) Mr. Winston.
(d) Mr. McGregor.

12. Who was Howard's client?
(a) General Motors.
(b) Kraft Foods.
(c) The National Lemon Growers Association.
(d) The NFL.

13. Two words likely to be found on the bumper stickers of vans are love and ____________.
(a) Peace.
(b) Revolution.
(c) Freedom.
(d) Harmony.

14. How is the Johnson Smith catalog distributed?
(a) Boy Scout meetings.
(b) Online.
(c) Store pick-up.
(d) Mail.

15. What is the narrator's most common position in life?
(a) Tactician.
(b) Strategist.
(c) Observer.
(d) Visionary.

Short Answer Questions

1. Why does the narrator find the environmentally conscious bumper stickers on vans ironic?

2. The term "lemon" when used to refer to a bad car began with a man who lost a race in ____________ in 1903.

3. According to the narrator, Van people are ___________________.

4. What might be an item found in the Johnson Smith catalog?

5. When the narrator imagines a future archaeological dig at a lost city, what does he think the rediscovered city will be called?

(see the answer keys)

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