I stumble down the two flights of stairs in search of my mother yet am only able to find my brother Canton engaging in his usual fights with imaginary pirates and wonder once again how we could be related. Canton is once again dressed in his green leotard with his rubber knife in hand in order to assume the role of Peter Pan and thus be able to fly. I attempt to gain his attention in order to ask him where everyone else has gone but only grunts and loud thud are audible as he dramatizes his own death by the hand of one of these imaginary foes. I say to myself "Oh forget it!" and quickly wander in search of another member of my strange family. Upon arriving in the laundry room I discover my sister Teal consuming handfuls of gummy bears and Sour Patch Kids from...