What you see is not always get. You think you know a person by looking at them, seeing their actions. When you really have no idea what is going on inside. I wasn't always like the person I am today. In fact I was quite different. There is no easy way really to describe where I have been or how I have felt. It like your outside your body, looking in, seeing everything that's wrong about you and your life and not being able to change it. Last year I suffered from depression. It was a horrible time in my life, but remarkably I wouldn't want to ever forget it. I believe I grew up in that time, and learned a lot of things, mostly about people.

It started in 10th grade. Slowly yet quickly I alienated myself. I rejected all my friends, refused all activities, and hid everything from my family. A lot of my friends went away, and never looked back. Its what I wanted, and yet it still hurt me. Those who stayed worried and seemed to try to shelter me, which in turn made me feel like the outcast and it made it worse. I changed, I went from "preppie central" to alternative. From bright and bubbly, to dark and dreary. Nobody wanted to be around me. And I don't blame them. No one wants to be around the crying person. It took me a while to figure things out. I went through a lot. I really scared all my friends and my family. But I did get help, and it's a bittersweet taste of that time. I wouldn't be the person I am today without it happening to me.

I learned a lot of things, I lost a lot of friends. But I also gained guidance, new friends, and a new found love for music. I'm quite happy now. With myself and my attitude towards things. Sure I'm not happy all the time, but I manage. With the help of my new friends, and new life I've seemed to grow up and really come to know who I am, what I want, and where I want to be.