July 24, 1890~ As I work on this painting of the wheat fields, sadness overcomes me. I worry that Theo, my loving brother, and his family also suffers sadness because of me. Theo's condition seems to be worsening and I fear for his health. I have gone back to work on my canvases, and have given them my undivided attention. My sickness has taken so much of my life away from me that I suddenly have tried to make the time come back. How I long for its return, when I was able to work for hours, and paint to my hearts content. Maybe the crows will bring impending doom to me, as I sit to finish this painting.

July 25, 1890~ Dr. Gachet has told me that I should throw myself into my works, to keep my mind off other things. My life is threatened...