’No, indeed you are not, my dear. We have leant on each other, and when we come home, you will make our welcome.’
‘The children will.’
’Ah! I think Maurice will behave well. He is very much subdued. I told him he was to do no lessons, and he fairly burst out crying.’
‘Oh, mamma!’ exclaimed Sophy, hurt, indignant, and nearly ready to follow his example.
’I do not think he has mastery over himself, so as to help being unruly and idle, when he is chained to a spelling-book. I would not for the world set him and you to worry each other for an hour a day, and I shall start afresh with him all the better, when he knows what absence of lessons is, and has forgotten all the old associations.’
‘How could you make him cry?’ said Sophy, in reproach.
’I believe the tears only wanted an excuse. I did put it on his naughtiness, which usually would have elated him; but his heart was so full as to make even a long holiday a punishment. That boy often shows me what a thorough Kendal he is; things sink into him as they never did into us at the same age, when my aunts used to think I had no feeling. Oh, Sophy! how will you comfort him?’
‘His will be an unstained sorrow,’ said Sophy, from the depths of her heart. ’O, mamma, only tell Gilbert what you know I feel—no, you don’t, no one can, but what I would not give, to change all I have felt towards him? If I had been like Edmund, and prized his gentleness and sweetness, and the humility that was the best worth of all, how different it would be! But I was proud of despising where truth was wanting.’
‘I should have thought I should have done the same,’ said Albinia; but there was no keeping from loving Gibbie. Besides, he was sincere, except when he was afraid, and he was miserable when he was deceiving.’
‘Yes, after you came,’ said Sophy; ’but I believe I helped him to think truth disagreeable. I showed my scorn for his want of boldness, instead of helping him. Think of my having fancied he had no courage.’
‘Kindness taught him courage,’ said Albinia. ’It might perhaps have earlier taught him moral courage. If you and he could have leant against each other, and been fused together, you would have made something like what Edmund was, I suppose.’
‘I drove him off,’ cried Sophy. ’I was no sister to him. Will you bring me his forgiveness?’
’Indeed I will; and you may feel sure of it already, dearest. It will make you gentler all your life.’
’No, I shall grow harder and harsher the longer I live, and the fewer I have to love me in spite of myself.’
‘I think not,’ said Albinia. ’Humility will make your severity more gentle, and you will soften, and win love and esteem.’
She looked up, but cried, ’I shall never make up to Gilbert nor to grandmamma!’
Albinia felt it almost as hard to leave her as the two little ones.