I could scarce find words to express my amazement at this communication.  I cleared myself instantly from having any the smallest knowledge of John’s proceedings, and Colonel Goldsworthy soon recovered all his spirits and good humour, when he was satisfied he had not designedly been treated with such strange and unmeaning inconsistency.  He rejoiced exceedingly that he had spoke out, and I thanked him for his frankness, and the evening concluded very amicably. . . .

The evening after, I invited Miss Port, determined to spend it entirely with my beaus, in order to wholly explain away this impertinence.  Colonel Goldsworthy now made me a thousand apologies for having named the matter to me at all.  I assured him I was extremely glad he had afforded me an opportunity of clearing it.  In the course of the discussion, I mentioned the constant summons brought me by John every afternoon.  He lifted up his hands and eyes, and protested most solemnly he had never sent a single one.

“I vow, ma’am,” cried the colonel, “I would not have taken such a liberty on any account; though all the comfort of my life in this house, is one half-hour in a day spent in this room.  After all one’s labours, riding, and walking, and standing, and bowing-what a life it is!  Well! it’s honour ! that’s one comfort ; it’s all honour ! royal honour !-one has the honour to stand till one has not a foot left ; and to ride till one’s stiff, and to walk till one’s ready to drop,-and then one makes one’s lowest bow, d’ye see, and blesses one’s self with joy for the honour!”

An Equerry’s duties and Discomforts.

His account of his own hardships and sufferings here, in the discharge of his duty, is truly comic.  “How do you like it, ma’am?” he says to me, “though it’s hardly fair to ask you yet, because you know almost nothing of the joys of this sort of life.  But wait till November and December, and then you’ll get a pretty taste of them!  Running along in these cold passages, then bursting into rooms fit to bake you, then back 430

again into all these agreeable puffs !-Bless us !  I believe in my heart there’s wind enough in these passages to carry a man of war!  And there you’ll have your share, ma’am, I promise you that! you’ll get knocked up in three days, take my word for that.”

I begged him not to prognosticate so much evil for me.

“O ma’am, there’s no help for it!” cried he; “you won’t have the hunting, to be sure, nor amusing yourself with wading a foot and a-half through the dirt, by way of a little pleasant walk, as we poor equerries do!, It’s a wonder to me we outlive the first month.  But the agreeable puffs of the passages you will have just as completely as any of us.  Let’s see, how many blasts must you have every time you go to the queen?  First, one upon your opening your door; then another, as you get down the three steps from it, which are exposed to the wind from the garden door downstairs; then a third, as you turn the corner to enter the passage; then you come plump upon another from the hall door; then comes another, fit to knock you down, as You turn to the upper passage ; then, just as You turn towards the queen’s room, comes another; and last, a whiff from the king’s stairs, enough to blow you half a mile off!”