more kind, more amiable, I believe has scarcely ever had daughters to bless. . . .

I then passed on to my own room, which terminates this gallery.  But I have since heard it is contrary to rule to pass even the door of an apartment in which any of the royal family happen to be, if it is open.  However, these little formalities are all dispensed with to the ignorant — and as I learn better I shall observe them more.  I am now obliged to feel and find my way as I can, having no friend, adviser, nor informer in the whole house.  Accident only gives me any instruction, and that generally arrives too late to save all error.  My whole dependence is upon the character of the queen ; her good sense and strong reason will always prevent the unnecessary offence of ranking mistakes from inexperience, with disrespect or inattention.  I have never, therefore, a moment’s uneasiness upon these points.  Though there is a lady who from time to time represents them as evils the most heinous.(208)

I had afterwards a letter from my poor Mrs. Delany, written with her own hand, and with a pencil, as she is now too indistinct of sight to see even a word.  She writes therefore only by memory, and, if with pen and ink, cannot find her place again when she leaves it, to dip the pen in the inkstand.

She had escaped the news at the chapel, but had been told it afterwards by Lady Spencer, lest it should reach her ears in any worse manner.  You may imagine how greatly it shocked her.

I ran to answer her note in person, determining, upon such an occasion, to risk appearing before the queen a second time in my morning dress, rather than not satisfy my dear Mrs. Delany by word of mouth.  I gave her all the comfort in my power, and raised her agitated spirits by dwelling upon the escape, and slightly passing by the danger.

The queen was so late before her second summons that I was still in time.  I found her with her eyes almost swollen out of her head, but more cheerful and easy, and evidently relieved by the vent forced, at length, to her tears.

She now first spoke upon the subject to me; inquiring how Mrs. Delany had borne the hearing it.  I told her of the letter sent me in the morning, and half proposed shewing it, as it expressed her feelings beyond the power of any other words.  She bowed her desire to see it, and I ran and brought

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it.  She read it aloud, Mrs. Schwellenberg being present, and was pleased and soothed by it.

A privilege is secured.

A little incident happened afterwards that gave me great satisfaction in perspective.  While I was drinking coffee with Mrs. Schwellenberg, a message was brought to me, that Mrs. and Miss Heberden(209) desired their compliments, and would come to drink tea with me if I was disengaged.

To drink tea with me!  The words made me colour.  I hesitated,—­I knew not if I might accept such an offer.  With regard to themselves, I had little or no interest in it, as they were strangers to me, but with regard to such an opening to future potentiality,—­there, indeed, the message acquired consequence.  After keeping the man some minutes, I was so much at a loss, still, to know what step I had power to take, that I was induced to apply to Mrs. Schwellenberg, asking her what I must do.