Thequeen’s summons.

Queen’s Lodge, Windsor, Monday, July 17-

With what hurry of mind and body did I rise this morning!  Everything had already been arranged for Mrs. Ord’s carrying us to Windsor, and my father’s carriage was merely to go as baggage-waggon for my clothes.  But I wept not then.  I left no one behind me to regret; my dear father accompanied me, and all my dear sisters had already taken their flight, never more to return.  Even poor little Sarah.(203) whom I love very dearly, was at Chesington.

Between nine and ten o’clock we set off.  W e changed carriage in Queen Ann-street, and Mrs. Ord conveyed us thence to Windsor.  With a struggling heart, I kept myself tolerably tranquil during the little journey.  My dear father

334

was quite happy, and Mrs. Ord felt the joy of a mother in relinquishing me to the protection of a queen so universally reverenced.  Had I been in better spirits, their ecstasy would have been unbounded ; but alas !-what I was approaching was not in my mind — -what I was leaving had taken Possession of it solely.

Miss Port flew out to us as the carriage stopped-the youthful blush of pleasure heightening her complexion, and every feature shewing her kind happiness.  Mrs. Delany, she said, was gone out with the queen.  I took leave of my good Mrs. Ord, whose eyes overflowed with maternal feelings-chiefly of contentment.  Mrs. Delany came home in about An hour.  A chastened satisfaction was hers; she rejoiced in the prospect before me; she was happy we ,should now be so much united, but she felt for my deprivations, she saw the hard conflict within me, and the tenderest pity checked her delight.

It was now debated whether I was immediately to go to the Lodge, or wait for orders.  The accustomed method for those who have their majesties’ commands to come to them is, to present themselves to the people in waiting, and by them to be announced.  My heart, however, was already sinking, and my spirits every moment were growing more agitated, and my sweet Mrs. Delany determined to spare me the additional task of passing through such awe-striking formalities.  She therefore employed my dear father-delighted with the employment-to write a note, in her name.

" Mrs. Delany presents her most humble duty to the queen; she found Dr. Burney and his daughter at her house.  Miss Burney waits the honour of her majesty’s commands.”

This, though unceremonious and unusual, she was sure the queen would pardon.  A verbal answer came that I was to go to the Lodge immediately.

O, my dear Susan! in what an agony of mind did I obey the summons!  I was still in my travelling dress, but could not stay to change it.  My father accompanied me.  Mrs. Delany, anxiously and full of mixed sensations, gave me her blessing.  We walked; the queen’s Lodge is not fifty yards from Mrs. Delany’s door.  My dear father’s own courage all failed him in this little step; for as I was now on the point of entering—­probably for ever-into an entire new way of life, and of foregoing by it all my most favourite schemes, and every dear expectation my fancy had ever indulged of happiness adapted to its taste—­as now all was to be given up—­I 335