The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay — Volume 1 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 669 pages of information about The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay — Volume 1.

The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay — Volume 1 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 669 pages of information about The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay — Volume 1.

Write me a comforting and strengthening letter, my dearest Miss Cambridge.  I have no heart to write to Mickleham, or Norbury.  I know how they will grieve:—­they have expected me to spend the whole summer with them.  My greatest terror is, lest the queen, from what Mr. Smelt hinted, should make me promise myself to her for a length of years.  What can I do to avoid that?  Anything that has a period is endurable but what can I object that will not sound ungrateful, to the honour she is doing me and meaning me?  She has given the most highly flattering reasons for making this application, in preference to listening to that of others; she has put it upon terms of commendation the most soothing; she is, indeed, one of the sweetest characters in the world.  Will you, too, condemn me, then, that I feel thus oppressed by her proposal?  I hope not,-I think not ;-but be very honest if you really do.  I wish I could see you!  It is not from nervousness;—­I have always and uniformly had a horror of a life of attendance and dependence. . . .

Miss Burney accepts the queen’s offer.

[How Miss Cambridge replied is not known; but Miss Burney’s appreciation of the queen’s kindness, and the desire avowed by Dr. Burney and Mrs. Delany that so honourable and advantageous an offer should not be declined, induced her to accept it ; and the following letters to her father show the final result of her deliberations, and her affectionate care to prevent him from perceiving her uneasiness.]

(Fanny Burney to Dr. Burney.)
Monday, June 19.

How great must have been your impatience, dearest sir but my interview has only this morning taken place.  Everything is settled, and to-morrow morning I go to the queen’s Lodge, to see the apartments, and to receive my instructions.

I must confess myself extremely frightened and full of alarms at a change of situation so great, so unexpected, so unthought-of.  Whether I shall suit it or not, heaven only knows, but I have a thousand doubts.  Yet nothing could be sweeter than

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the queen,—­more encouraging, more gentle, or more delicate.  She did not ask me one question concerning my qualifications for the charge; she only said, with the most condescending softness, “I am sure, Miss Burney, we shall Suit One another very well.”  And, another time, “I arn sure we shall do very well together.”

And what is itl dear Sir, you suppose to be my business?  Not to attend any of the princesses—­but the queen herself!  This, indeed, was a delightful hearing, reverencing and admiring her as I have so sincerely done ever since I first saw her.  And in this, my amazement is proportioned to my satisfaction; for the place designed me is that of Mrs. Haggerdorn, who came with her from Germany, and it will put me more immediately and more constantly in her presence than any other place, but that of Mrs. Schwellenberg, in the Court.

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The Diary and Letters of Madame D'Arblay — Volume 1 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.