“A waste of time, to purify the fountain of public law?  Well, I never heard anybody express an idea like that before.  But if it were, it would still be the fault of the minority, for the majority don’t institute these proceedings.  There is where that minority becomes an obstruction —­but still one can’t say it is on the wrong side.—­Well, after they have finished the bribery cases, they will take up cases of members who have bought their seats with money.  That will take another four weeks.”

“Very good; go on.  You have accounted for two-thirds of the session.”

“Next they will try each other for various smaller irregularities, like the sale of appointments to West Point cadetships, and that sort of thing—­mere trifling pocket-money enterprises that might better, be passed over in silence, perhaps, but then one of our Congresses can never rest easy till it has thoroughly purified itself of all blemishes—­and that is a thing to be applauded.”

“How long does it take to disinfect itself of these minor impurities?”

“Well, about two weeks, generally.”

“So Congress always lies helpless in quarantine ten weeks of a session.  That’s encouraging.  Colonel, poor Laura will never get any benefit from our bill.  Her trial will be over before Congress has half purified itself.—­And doesn’t it occur to you that by the time it has expelled all its impure members there, may not be enough members left to do business legally?”

“Why I did not say Congress would expel anybody.”

“Well won’t it expel anybody?”

“Not necessarily.  Did it last year?  It never does.  That would not be regular.”

“Then why waste all the session in that tomfoolery of trying members?”

“It is usual; it is customary; the country requires it.”

“Then the country is a fool, I think.”

“Oh, no.  The country thinks somebody is going to be expelled.”

“Well, when nobody is expelled, what does the country think then?”

“By that time, the thing has strung out so long that the country is sick and tired of it and glad to have a change on any terms.  But all that inquiry is not lost.  It has a good moral effect.”

“Who does it have a good moral effect on?”

“Well—­I don’t know.  On foreign countries, I think.  We have always been under the gaze of foreign countries.  There is no country in the world, sir, that pursues corruption as inveterately as we do.  There is no country in the world whose representatives try each other as much as ours do, or stick to it as long on a stretch.  I think there is something great in being a model for the whole civilized world, Washington”

“You don’t mean a model; you mean an example.”

“Well, it’s all the same; it’s just the same thing.  It shows that a man can’t be corrupt in this country without sweating for it, I can tell you that.”