dear John, do forgive me, do dear.  When I had her properly brought too, for havin nothin on but a thin under garment, every crack of the whip told like a notch on a baker’s tally, says I, take that as a taste of what you’ll catch, when you act that way like old Scratch.  Now go and dress yourself, and get supper for me and a stranger I have brought home along with me, and be quick, for I vow I’ll be master in my own house.  She moaned like a dog hit with a stone, half whine, half yelp; dear, dear, says she, if I aint all covered over with welts as big as my finger, I do believe I’m flayed alive; and she boohood right out like any thing.  I guess, said I, you’ve got ’em where folks wont see ’em, any how, and I calculate you won’t be over forrard to show ’em where they be.  But come, says I, be a stirrin, or I’ll quilt you agin as sure as you’re alive—­I’ll tan your hide for you, you may depend, you old ungainly tempered heifer you.

When I went to the barn, says I, John Porter, your wife made right at me, like one ravin distracted mad, when I opened the door, thinkin it was you; and I was obliged to give her a crack or two of the cowskin to get clear of her.  It has effectuated a cure completely; now foller it up, and don’t let on for your life, it warn’t you that did it, and you’ll be master once more in your own house.  She’s all docity jist now, keep her so.  As we returned we saw a light in the keepin room, the fire was blazin up cheerfulsome, and Marm Porter moved about as brisk as a parched pea, though as silent as dumb, and our supper was ready in no time.  As soon as she took her seat and sot down, she sprung right up on eend, as if she had sot on a pan of hot coals, and colored all over; and then tears started in her eyes.  Thinks I to myself, I calculate I wrote that are lesson in large letters any how, I can read that writin without spellin, and no mistake; I guess you’ve got pretty well warmed thereabouts this hitch.  Then she tried it agin, first she sot on one leg then on tother, quite oneasy, and then right atwixt both, a fidgettin about dreadfully; like a man that’s rode all day on a bad saddle, and lost a little leather on the way.  If you had seed how she stared at Porter, it would have made you snicker.  She could’nt credit her eyes.  He warn’t drunk, and he warn’t crazy, but there he sot as peeked and as meechin as you please.  She seemed all struck up of a heap at his rebellion.  The next day when I was about startin, I advised him to act like a man, and keep the weather gage now he had it, and all would be well, but the poor critter only held on a day or two, she soon got the upper hand of him, and made him confess all, and by all accounts he leads a worse life now than ever.  I put that are trick on him jist now to try him, and I see it’s gone goose with him; the jig is up with him, she’ll soon call him with a whistle like a dog.  I often think of the hornpipe she danced there in the dark along with me, to the music