out of the corner of one eye, like a horse that’s
goin to kick. The captain guessed he read in his
face “well now, if I was to run this here Yankee
right slap on a rock and bilge her, the King would
make a man of me forever.” So, says he
to the first leftenant, reeve a rope thro’ that
are block at the tip eend of the fore yard, and clap
a runnin nuse in it. The leftenant did it as
quick as wink, and came back, and says he, I guess
it’s done. Now says the captain, look here,
pilot, here’s a rope you hant seed yet, I’ll
jist explain the use of it to you in case you want
the loan of it. If this here frigate, manned
with our free and enlightened citizens, gets aground,
I’ll give you a ride on the slack of that are
rope, right up to that yard by the neck, by Gum.
Well, it rub’d all the writin out of his face,
as quick as spittin on a slate takes a sum out, you
may depend. Now, they should rig up a crane over
the street door of the State house at Halifax, and
when any of the pilots at either eend of the buildin,
run ’em on the breakers on purpose, string em
up like an onsafe dog. A sign of that are kind,
with “a house of public entertainment,”
painted under it, would do the business in less than
no time. If it would’nt keep the hawks
out of the poultry yard, it’s a pity—it
would scare them out of a year’s growth, that’s
a fact—if they used it once, I guess they
would’nt have occasion for it agin in a hurry—it
would be like the Aloe tree, and that bears fruit
only once in a hundred years. If you want to
know how to act any time, squire, never go to books,
leave them to galls and school boys; but go right
off and cypher it out of natur, that’s a sure
guide, it will never deceive you, you may depend.
For instance, “what’s that to me,”
is a phrase so common that it shows it’s a natural
one, when people have no particular interest in a
thing. Well, when a feller gets so warm on either
side as never to use that phrase at all, watch him,
that’s all! keep your eye on him, or he’ll
walk right into you afore you know where you be.
If a man runs to me and says, “your fence is
down,” thank you, says I, that’s kind—if
he comes agin and says, “I guess some stray
cattle have broke into your short sarce garden,”
I thank him again; says I, come now, this is neighborly;
but when he keeps etarnally tellin me this thing of
one sarvant, and that thing of another sarvant, hints
that my friends ant true, that my neighbors are inclined
to take advantage of me, and that suspicious folks
are seen about my place, I say to myself, what on
airth makes this critter take such a wonderful interest
in my affairs? I don’t like to hear such
tales—he’s arter somethin as sure
as the world, if he war’nt he’d say, “What’s
that to me.” I never believe much what I
hear said by a man’s violent friend,
or violent enemy, I want to hear what a
disinterested man has to say—now, as a
disinterested man, I say if the members of the House
of Assembly, instead of raisin up ghosts and hobgoblins