better gib ’em all a little tickle, jist to teach em larf on tother side of de mouth; dat side bran new, they never use it yet.  Do as I order you, Sir, said Uncle, or I’ll have you triced up, you cruel old rascal you.  When they were picked out and sot by themselves, they hanged their heads, and looked like sheep goin to the shambles.  Now, says Uncle Enoch, my Pickininnies, do you sing out as loud as Niagara, at the very tip eend of your voice—­

    Dont kill a nigger, pray,
    Let him lib anoder day. 
        Oh Lord Missus—­oh Lord Missus.

    My back be very sore,
    No stand it any more,
        Oh Lord Missus—­oh Lord Missus.

And all the rest of you join chorus, as loud as you can bawl, ‘Oh Lord Missus.’  The black rascals understood the joke real well.  They larfed ready to split their sides; they fairly lay down on the ground, and rolled over and over with lafter.  Well, when they came to the chorus ‘Oh Lord Missus,’ if they did’nt let go, its a pity.  They made the river ring agin—­they were heerd clean out to sea.  All the folks ran out of the Lady’s House, to see what on airth was the matter on Uncle Enoch’s plantation —­they thought there was actilly a rebellion there; but when they listened awhile, and heerd it over and over again, they took the hint, and returned a larfin in their sleeves.  Says they, Master Enoch Slick, he upsides with Missus this hitch any how.  Uncle never heerd any thing more of ‘Oh Lord Missus’ arter that Yes, they ought to be shamed out of it, those Blue Noses.  When reason fails to convince, there is nothin left but ridicule.  If they have no ambition, apply to their feelings, slap a blister on their pride, and it will do the business.  Its like a puttin ginger under a horse’s tail; it makes him carry up real handSUM, I tell you.  When I was a boy, I was always late to school:  well father’s preachin I didn’t mind much, but I never could bear to hear mother say, ’Why Sam, are you actilly up for all day?  Well, I hope your airly risin wont hurt you, I declare.  What on airth is agoin to happen now?’ Well, wonders will never cease.  It raised my dander; at last says I, ’Now, mother, don’t say that are any more for gracious sake, for it makes me feel ugly, and I’ll get up as airly as any on you,’ and so I did, and I soon found what’s worth knowin in this life, ‘An airly start makes easy stages.’

No.  XIII

The Clockmaker’s Opinion of Halifax.

The next morning was warmer than several that had preceded it.  It was one of those uncommonly fine days that distinguish an American autumn.  I guess, said Mr. Slick, the heat to-day is like a glass of Mint Julip, with a lump of ice in it, it tastes cool and feels warm—­its real good, I tell you; I love such a day as this dearly.  Its generally allowed the finest weather in the world is in America—­there ant the beat of it to be found anywhere.  He then