preacher was pretty tired of all this, and seeing no prospect of being asked to partake with the family, and tolerably sharp set, he asked one of the boys to fetch him his horse out of the barn.  When he was taking leave of the Elder, (there were several folks by at the time,) says he, Elder Thomson, you have a fine farm here, a very fine farm, indeed; you have a large Ox too, a very large Ox; and I think, said he, I’ve seen to-day, (turning and looking him full in the face, for he intended to hit him pretty hard,) I think I have seen to-day the greatest hag I ever saw in my life.  The neighbours snickered a good deal, and the Elder felt pretty streaked.  I guess he’d give his great Pig or his great Ox either, if that story had’nt got wind.

No.  VII

Go Ahead.

When we resumed our conversation, the Clockmaker said, “I guess we are the greatest nation on the face of the airth, and the most enlightened too.”  This was rather too arrogant to pass unnoticed, and I was about replying, that whatever doubts there might be on that subject, there could be none whatever that they were the most Modest; when he continued “we go ahead,” the Novascotians go “astarn.”  Our ships go ahead of the ships of other folks, our steam boats beat the British in speed, and so do our stage coaches; and I reckon a real right down New York trotter might stump the univarse for going “ahead.”  But since we introduced the Rail Roads if we don’t go “ahead” its a pity.  We never fairly knew what going the whole hog was till then; we actilly went ahead of ourselves, and that’s no easy matter I tell you.  If they only had edication here, they might learn to do so too, but they don’t know nothin.  You undervalue them, said I, they have their College and Academies, their grammar schools and primary institutions, and I believe there are few among them who cannot read and write.

I guess all that’s nothin, said he.  As for Latin and Greek, we don’t valy it a cent; we teach it, and so we do painting and music, because the English do, and we like to go ahead on em, even in them are things.  As for reading, its well enough for them that has nothing to do, and writing is plaguy apt to bring a man to States-prison, particularly if he writes his name so like another man as to have it mistaken for his’n.  Cyphering is the thing—­if a man knows how to cypher, he is sure to grow rich.  We are a ‘calculating’ people, we all cypher.

A horse that wont go ahead, is apt to run back, and the more you whip him the faster he goes astarn.  That’s jist the way with the Nova Scotians; they have been running back so fast lately, that they have tumbled over a bank or two, and nearly broke their necks; and now they’ve got up and shook themselves, they swear their dirty clothes and bloody noses are all owing to the banks.  I guess if they wont look ahead for the future, they’ll larn to look behind, and see if there’s a bank near hand em.