Having pointed out, in detail, the several vices of this language, I now come to the brief and pleasant task of pointing out its virtues.  The capitalizing of the nouns I have already mentioned.  But far before this virtue stands another—­that of spelling a word according to the sound of it.  After one short lesson in the alphabet, the student can tell how any German word is pronounced without having to ask; whereas in our language if a student should inquire of us, “What does B, O, W, spell?” we should be obliged to reply, “Nobody can tell what it spells when you set if off by itself; you can only tell by referring to the context and finding out what it signifies—­whether it is a thing to shoot arrows with, or a nod of one’s head, or the forward end of a boat.”

There are some German words which are singularly and powerfully effective.  For instance, those which describe lowly, peaceful, and affectionate home life; those which deal with love, in any and all forms, from mere kindly feeling and honest good will toward the passing stranger, clear up to courtship; those which deal with outdoor Nature, in its softest and loveliest aspects—­with meadows and forests, and birds and flowers, the fragrance and sunshine of summer, and the moonlight of peaceful winter nights; in a word, those which deal with any and all forms of rest, repose, and peace; those also which deal with the creatures and marvels of fairyland; and lastly and chiefly, in those words which express pathos, is the language surpassingly rich and affective.  There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.  That shows that the sound of the words is correct—­it interprets the meanings with truth and with exactness; and so the ear is informed, and through the ear, the heart.

The Germans do not seem to be afraid to repeat a word when it is the right one.  They repeat it several times, if they choose.  That is wise.  But in English, when we have used a word a couple of times in a paragraph, we imagine we are growing tautological, and so we are weak enough to exchange it for some other word which only approximates exactness, to escape what we wrongly fancy is a greater blemish.  Repetition may be bad, but surely inexactness is worse.

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There are people in the world who will take a great deal of trouble to point out the faults in a religion or a language, and then go blandly about their business without suggesting any remedy.  I am not that kind of person.  I have shown that the German language needs reforming.  Very well, I am ready to reform it.  At least I am ready to make the proper suggestions.  Such a course as this might be immodest in another; but I have devoted upward of nine full weeks, first and last, to a careful and critical study of this tongue, and thus have acquired a confidence in my ability to reform it which no mere superficial culture could have conferred upon me.

In the first place, I would leave out the Dative case.  It confuses the plurals; and, besides, nobody ever knows when he is in the Dative case, except he discover it by accident—­and then he does not know when or where it was that he got into it, or how long he has been in it, or how he is going to get out of it again.  The Dative case is but an ornamental folly—­it is better to discard it.