his property viciously, yanks it this way, then that,
shoves it ahead of him a moment, turns tail and lugs
it after him another moment, gets madder and madder,
then presently hoists it into the air and goes tearing
away in an entirely new direction; comes to a weed;
it never occurs to him to go around it; no, he must
climb it; and he does climb it, dragging his worthless
property to the top—which is as bright
a thing to do as it would be for me to carry a sack
of flour from Heidelberg to Paris by way of Strasburg
steeple; when he gets up there he finds that that
is not the place; takes a cursory glance at the scenery
and either climbs down again or tumbles down, and
starts off once more—as usual, in a new
direction. At the end of half an hour, he fetches
up within six inches of the place he started from
and lays his burden down; meantime he has been over
all the ground for two yards around, and climbed all
the weeds and pebbles he came across. Now he
wipes the sweat from his brow, strokes his limbs,
and then marches aimlessly off, in as violently a hurry
as ever. He does not remember to have ever seen
it before; he looks around to see which is not the
way home, grabs his bundle and starts; he goes through
the same adventures he had before; finally stops to
rest, and a friend comes along. Evidently the
friend remarks that a last year’s grasshopper
leg is a very noble acquisition, and inquires where
he got it. Evidently the proprietor does not
remember exactly where he did get it, but thinks he
got it “around here somewhere.” Evidently
the friend contracts to help him freight it home.
Then, with a judgment peculiarly antic (pun not intended),
then take hold of opposite ends of that grasshopper
leg and begin to tug with all their might in opposite
directions. Presently they take a rest and confer
together. They decide that something is wrong,
they can’t make out what. Then they go
at it again, just as before. Same result.
Mutual recriminations follow. Evidently each
accuses the other of being an obstructionist.
They lock themselves together and chew each other’s
jaws for a while; then they roll and tumble on the
ground till one loses a horn or a leg and has to haul
off for repairs. They make up and go to work
again in the same old insane way, but the crippled
ant is at a disadvantage; tug as he may, the other
one drags off the booty and him at the end of it.
Instead of giving up, he hangs on, and gets his shins
bruised against every obstruction that comes in the
way. By and by, when that grasshopper leg has
been dragged all over the same old ground once more,
it is finally dumped at about the spot where it originally
lay, the two perspiring ants inspect it thoughtfully
and decide that dried grasshopper legs are a poor
sort of property after all, and then each starts off
in a different direction to see if he can’t
find an old nail or something else that is heavy enough
to afford entertainment and at the same time valueless
enough to make an ant want to own it.