hospitable wings.  Across the gable that fronted the road, and about ten feet above the ground, ran a narrow porch, with a wooden railing; a row of small windows filled with very small panes looked upon the porch.  Above were two or three other little windows, one clear up under the sharp apex of the roof.  Before the ground-floor door was a huge pile of manure.  The door of the second-story room on the side of the house was open, and occupied by the rear elevation of a cow.  Was this probably the drawing-room?  All of the front half of the house from the ground up seemed to be occupied by the people, the cows, and the chickens, and all the rear half by draught-animals and hay.  But the chief feature, all around this house, was the big heaps of manure.

We became very familiar with the fertilizer in the Forest.  We fell unconsciously into the habit of judging of a man’s station in life by this outward and eloquent sign.  Sometimes we said, “Here is a poor devil, this is manifest.”  When we saw a stately accumulation, we said, “Here is a banker.”  When we encountered a country-seat surrounded by an Alpine pomp of manure, we said, “Doubtless a duke lives here.”

The importance of this feature has not been properly magnified in the Black Forest stories.  Manure is evidently the Black-Forester’s main treasure—­his coin, his jewel, his pride, his Old Master, his ceramics, his bric-a-brac, his darling, his title to public consideration, envy, veneration, and his first solicitude when he gets ready to make his will.  The true Black Forest novel, if it is ever written, will be skeletoned somewhat in this way: 

SKELETON FOR A BLACK FOREST NOVEL

Rich old farmer, named Huss.  Has inherited great wealth of manure, and by diligence has added to it.  It is double-starred in Baedeker. [1] The Black forest artist paints it—­his masterpiece.  The king comes to see it.  Gretchen Huss, daughter and heiress.  Paul Hoch, young neighbor, suitor for Gretchen’s hand—­ostensibly; he really wants the manure.  Hoch has a good many cart-loads of the Black Forest currency himself, and therefore is a good catch; but he is sordid, mean, and without sentiment, whereas Gretchen is all sentiment and poetry.  Hans Schmidt, young neighbor, full of sentiment, full of poetry, loves Gretchen, Gretchen loves him.  But he has no manure.  Old Huss forbids him in the house.  His heart breaks, he goes away to die in the woods, far from the cruel world—­for he says, bitterly, “What is man, without manure?”

1.  When Baedeker’s guide-books mention a thing and put
    two stars (**) after it, it means well worth visiting. 
    M.T.

[Interval of six months.]

Paul Hoch comes to old Huss and says, “I am at last as rich as you required—­come and view the pile.”  Old Huss views it and says, “It is sufficient—­take her and be happy,”—­meaning Gretchen.