Life's Handicap eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 405 pages of information about Life's Handicap.

Life's Handicap eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 405 pages of information about Life's Handicap.

With forty-five O’s in the last word:  even at that distance you might have cut the soft South Irish accent with a shovel.

‘For all we take we must pay, but the price is cruel high,’ murmured Mulvaney when the chorus had ceased.

‘What’s the trouble?’ I said gently, for I knew that he was a man of an inextinguishable sorrow.

‘Hear now,’ said he.  ’Ye know what I am now. I know what I mint to be at the beginnin’ av my service.  I’ve tould you time an’ again, an’ what I have not Dinah Shadd has.  An’ what am I?  Oh, Mary Mother av Hiven, an ould dhrunken, untrustable baste av a privit that has seen the reg’ment change out from colonel to drummer-boy, not wanst or twice, but scores av times!  Ay, scores!  An’ me not so near gettin’ promotion as in the first!  An’ me livin’ on an’ kapin’ clear av clink, not by my own good conduck, but the kindness av some orf’cer-bhoy young enough to be son to me!  Do I not know ut?  Can I not tell whin I’m passed over at p’rade, tho’ I’m rockin’ full av liquor an’ ready to fall all in wan piece, such as even a suckin’ child might see, bekaze, “Oh, ’tis only ould Mulvaney!” An’ whin I’m let off in ord’ly-room through some thrick of the tongue an’ a ready answer an’ the ould man’s mercy, is ut smilin’ I feel whin I fall away an’ go back to Dinah Shadd, thryin’ to carry ut all off as a joke?  Not I!  ‘Tis hell to me, dumb hell through ut all; an’ next time whin the fit comes I will be as bad again.  Good cause the reg’ment has to know me for the best soldier in ut.  Better cause have I to know mesilf for the worst man.  I’m only fit to tache the new drafts what I’ll niver learn mesilf; an’ I am sure, as tho’ I heard ut, that the minut wan av these pink-eyed recruities gets away from my “Mind ye now,” an’ “Listen to this, Jim, bhoy,”—­sure I am that the sergint houlds me up to him for a warnin’.  So I tache, as they say at musketry-instruction, by direct and ricochet fire.  Lord be good to me, for I have stud some throuble!’

‘Lie down and go to sleep,’ said I, not being able to comfort or advise.  ’You’re the best man in the regiment, and, next to Ortheris, the biggest fool.  Lie down and wait till we’re attacked.  What force will they turn out?  Guns, think you?’

‘Try that wid your lorrds an’ ladies, twistin’ an’ turnin’ the talk, tho’ you mint ut well.  Ye cud say nothin’ to help me, an’ yet ye niver knew what cause I had to be what I am.’

‘Begin at the beginning and go on to the end,’ I said royally.  ’But rake up the fire a bit first.’

I passed Ortheris’s bayonet for a poker.

‘That shows how little we know what we do,’ said Mulvaney, putting it aside.  ‘Fire takes all the heart out av the steel, an’ the next time, may be, that our little man is fighting for his life his bradawl ’ll break, an’ so you’ll ha’ killed him, manin’ no more than to kape yourself warm.  ’Tis a recruity’s thrick that.  Pass the clanin’-rod, sorr.’

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Project Gutenberg
Life's Handicap from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.