He was sitting, his dark eyes roaming here and there about the dining-room.  Prince’s, as you may know, is a gorgeous establishment:  too much so for my taste—­it has almost as much gilded moulding as if T-S had designed it for a picture palace.  In front of Carpenter’s eyes sat a dame with a bare white back, and a rope of big pearls about it, and a tiara of diamonds on top; and beyond her were more dames, and yet more, and men in dinner-coats, putting food into red faces.  You and I get used to such things, but I could understand that to a stranger it must be shocking to see so many people feeding so expensively.

“Vot you vant to order, Mr. Carpenter?” demanded T-S; and I waited, full of curiosity.  What would this man choose to eat in a “lobster palace”?

Carpenter took the card from his host and studied it.  Apparently he had no difficulty in finding the most substantial part of the menu.  “I’ll have prime ribs of beef,” said he; “and boiled mutton with caper sauce; and young spring turkey; and squab en casserole; and milk fed guinea fowl—­” The waiter, of course, was obediently writing down each item.  “And planked steak with mushrooms; and braised spare ribs—­”

“My Gawd!” broke in the host.

“And roast teal duck; and lamb kidneys—­”

“Fer the love o’ Mike, Mr. Carpenter, you gonna eat all dat?”

“No; of course not.”

“Den vot you gonna do vit it?”

“I’m going to take it to the hungry men outside.”

Well, sir, you’d have thought the world had stopped turning round, so still it was.  The two waiters nearly dropped their order-pads and their napkins; they did drop their jaws, and Mrs. T-S’s permanent wave seemed about to go flat.

“Oh, hell!” cried T-S at last.  You can’t do it!”

“I can’t?”

“You can’t order only vot you gonna eat.”

“But then, I don’t want anything.  I’m not hungry.”

“But you can’t sit here like a dummy, man!” He turned to the waiter.  “You bring him de same vot you bring me.  Unnerstand?  And git a move on, cause I’m starvin’.  Fade out now!” And the waiter turned and fled.

XV

The proprietor of Eternal City wiped his perspiring forehead with his napkin, and started rather hurriedly to make conversation.  I understood that he wanted to enjoy his dinner, and proposed to talk about something pleasant in the meantime.  “I vonna tell you about dis picture ve’re goin’ to see took, Mr. Carpenter.  I vant you should see de scale we do tings on, ven we got a big subjic.  Y’unnerstand, dis is a feature picture ve’re makin’ now; a night picture, a big mob scene.”.

“Mob scene?” said Carpenter.  “You have so many mobs in this world of yours!”

“Vell, sure,” said T-S.  “You gotta take dis vorld de vay you find it.  Y’can’t change human nature, y’know.  But dis vot you’re gonna see tonight is only a play mob, y’unnerstand.”