think it prudent to lock horns with his superior.”  I call you to witness, good people, if such words would not pierce an honorable man to the marrow of his bones.  Still, I am so gentle that I have never even wished my wife dead.  On the contrary, when she lay sick of a jaundice last year, I hoped she might live; for as hell is already full of bad women, Lucifer might send her back again, and then she’d be worse than ever.  But if the deacon should die, I should be glad, for my own sake and for others’ as well, for he does me nothing but evil and is no use to the parish.  He’s an ignorant devil, for he can’t sing a note, much less mould a decent wax candle.  Oh, but his predecessor, Christoffer, was a different sort of fellow.  He had such a voice in his time that he sang down twelve deacons in the Credo.  Once I started to quarrel openly with the deacon, when Nille herself heard him call me a cuckold.  I said, “May the devil be your cuckold, deacon!” But what good did it do?  Master Eric came right down off the wall to stop the quarrel, and my back got such a drubbing that I had to ask the deacon’s leave to thank him, that he, as a well-educated man, should do such an honor to our house.  Since that time I haven’t thought of making any opposition.  Yes, yes, Moens Christoffersen!  You and the other peasants can very well talk, because your wives haven’t any Master Eric hanging behind the bed.  If I had one wish in the world, it would be either that my wife had no arms, or that I had no back.  She may use her mouth as much as she pleases.  But I must stop at Jacob Shoemaker’s on the way—­he’ll surely let me have a pennyworth of brandy on credit—­for I must have something to quench my thirst.  Hey, Jacob Shoemaker!  Are you up yet?  Open the door, Jacob!

SCENE 4

(Enter Jacob Shoemaker, in his shirt.)

Jacob.  Who the dickens wants to get in so early?

Jeppe.  Good morning to you, Jacob Shoemaker.

Jacob.  Thank you, Jeppe!  You are up and about bright and early to-day.

Jeppe.  Let us have a pennyworth of brandy, Jacob!

Jacob.  With all my heart, when you show me the penny.

Jeppe.  I’ll give it to you when I come back here tomorrow.

Jacob.  Jacob Shoemaker doesn’t give credit, I know you must have a penny or two about you to pay with.

Jeppe.  Honestly, Jacob, I have nothing but what my wife gave me to spend in town for her.

Jacob.  You can easily beat them down a few pence on what you buy. 
What is it you’re to get her?

Jeppe.  I have to buy two pounds of soft soap.

Jacob.  Why, can’t you tell her the soap cost a penny or two more than you give for it?

Jeppe.  I’m so afraid my wife would find out about it, and then I’d be in trouble.

Jacob.  Nonsense!  How could she find out?  Can’t you swear that you paid out all the money?  You’re as stupid as an ox.