I was often punished because I forgot to walk on my toes.  For this trivial offence I have often been made to fast two days.  We all wore cloth shoes, and it was the rule of the house that we should all walk on tip-toe.  Sometimes we would forget, and take a step or two in the usual way; and then it did seem as though they rejoiced in the opportunity to inflict punishment.  It was the only amusement they had, and there was so little variety in their daily life, I believe they were glad of anything to break in upon the monotony of convent life, and give them a little excitement.  It was very hard for me to learn to walk on my toes, and as I often failed to do it, I was of course punished for the atrocious crime.  But I did learn at last, for what can we not accomplish by resolute perseverance?  Several years of practice so confirmed the habit that I found it as difficult to leave off as it was to begin.  Even now I often find myself tripping along on tip-toe before I am aware of it.

We had a very cruel abbess in the kitchen, and this was one reason of our being punished so often.  She was young and inexperienced, and had just been promoted to office, with which she seemed much pleased and elated.  She embraced every opportunity to exercise her authority, and often have I fasted two whole days for accidentally spilling a little water on the kitchen floor.  Whenever she wished to call my attention to her, she did not content herself with simply speaking, but would box my ears, pull my hair, pinch my arms, and in many ways so annoy and provoke me that I often wished her dead.  One day when I was cleaning knives and forks she came up to me and gave me such a severe pinch on my arm that I carried the marks for many days.  I did not wait to think what I was doing, but turned and struck her with all my might.  It could not have been a light blow, for I was very angry.  She turned away, saying she should report me to the Lady Superior.  I did not answer her, but as she passed through the door I threw a knife which I hoped would hit her, but it struck the door as she closed it.  I expected something dreadful would be done to me after this wilful violation of a well known law.  But I could bear it, I thought, and I was glad I hit her so hard.

She soon returned with a young priest, who had been there but a short time, and his heart had not yet become so hard as is necessary to be a good Romish priest.  He came to me and asked, “What is the matter?” I told him the Abbess punished me every day, that in fact I was under punishment most of the time; that I did not deserve it, and I was resolved to bear it no longer.  I struck her because she pinched me for no good reason; and I should in future try to defend myself from her cruelty.

“Do you know,” said he, “what will be done to you for this?” “No, sir,” said I, “I do not know,” and I was about to add, “I do not care,” but I restrained myself.  He went out, and for a long time I expected to be called to account, but I heard no more of it.  The Abbess, however, went on in the old way, tormenting me on every occasion.