“Of all I possess!  And if I renounce all, who, when I leave the college, will provide for me?” The notary now interposed.  “That,” said he, “is the point to which I wish to call your attention, in advising you to make some reservation.  If you neglect to do so, you may find yourself in difficulties, losing, as you irrevocably will, every right of your own.”  At these words, so palpable, so glaring, the bandage fell from my eyes, and I saw the abyss these monsters were opening under my feet.  “This is a deception, a horrible deception,” I exclaimed.  “I now understand the ‘deed of humility,’ but I protest I will not sign it, I will have nothing more to do with it.” * * * After spending two or three hours in bitterness and woe, I resolved to have recourse to my family.  For this purpose I wrote a long letter to my mother, in which I exposed all the miseries of my heart, related what had taken place with regard to the “deed of humility,” and begged of her consolation and advice.  I gave the letter into the hands of a servant, and on the following morning received a reply, in which I was told, in gentle, terms, to be tranquil,—­not to resist the wishes of my directors, —­sign unhesitatingly any paper that might be required, for, when my studies were completed, and I quitted the college, the validity of these forms would cease.  This letter set all my doubts at rest, and restored peace to my mind.  It was written by my mother, and she, I felt assured, would never deceive me.  How could I for one moment imagine that this epistle was an invention of my enemies, who imitated the hand-writing and affectionate style of my mother?  Some persons will say, you might have suspected it. * * * I reply, that in the uprightness of my heart, I could not conceive such atrocious wickedness; it appeared utterly irreconcilable with the sanctity of the place, and with the venerable hoariness of persons dedicated to God.

After perusing the letter, I hastened to the master, declaring my readiness to sign the “deed of humility.”  He smiled approvingly on finding how well his plan had succeeded.  The notary and witnesses were again summoned, and my condemnation written.  The good notary, however, pitying my situation, inserted an exceptional clause to the total relinquishment of my rights. * * * No sooner was this business concluded, than the master commanded me to write to my parents, to inform them that I had signed the deed of renunciation, and was willing, for the benefit of my soul, to assume the monkish habit.  He was present when I wrote this letter; I was, therefore, obliged to adopt the phrases suggested by him,—­phrases, breathing zeal and devotion; full of indifference to the world, and tranquil satisfaction at the choice I had made.  My parents, thought I, will be astonished when they read this epistle, but they must perceive that the language is not mine, so little is it in accordance with my former style of writing.