Slowly passed the hours of that long and weary night, while I lay, waiting the ringing of the bell, or thinking upon the past with deep regret.  The most fearful visions haunted my brain, and fears of future punishment filled my mind.  How could I hope to escape it, when they were so very strict, and able to read my most secret thoughts?  What would I not have given could I have been again restored to my father?  True he was intemperate, but at that time I thought not of this; I only knew that he was always kind to me, that he never refused what I asked of him.  I sometimes think, even now, that if he had not so cruelly thrust me from him, I might have been able to win him from his cups and evil course of life.  But this was not to be.  Having given himself up to the demon of intemperance, it is not surprising that he should have given away his only child; that he should have placed her in the hands of those who proved utterly unworthy of the trust.  But however indignant I may at times have felt towards him, for the one great wrong he committed against me, still I do not believe he would ever have done it but for the influence of ardent spirits.  Moreover, I do not suppose that he had the least idea what kind of a place it was.  He wished, doubtless, that his child might be well educated; that she might be shielded from the many trials and temptations that cluster around the footsteps of the young and inexperienced, in the midst of a cold and heartless world.  From these evils the nunnery, he thought, would be a secure retreat, for there science, religion, and philanthropy, professedly, go hand in hand.  Like many other deluded parents, he thought that “Holiness to the Lord” was inscribed upon those walls, and that nothing which could pervert or defile the youthful mind, was permitted to enter there.  With these views and feelings, he was undoubtedly sincere when he told me, “I would have a good home, and the nuns would take better care of me than he could.”  Rash his decision certainly was, cruel it proved to be; but I shall ever give him credit for good intentions.

At length the bell rang, and all the girls immediately left their beds, and placed themselves upon their knees.  I followed their example, but I had scarcely time to kneel by my bed, when the Superior came into the room with a light in her hand, and attended by a priest.  He came to me, opened a book, and told me to cross myself.  This ceremony he instructed me to perform in the following manner:  the right hand is placed upon the forehead, and drawn down to the breast; then across the breast from left to right.  The Superior then told me to say the prayer called “Hail Mary!” I attempted to do so, but failed, for, though I had often repeated it after my father, I could not say it correctly alone.  She then bade me join my hands, and repeat it after her.  “Hail Mary!  Full of grace!  The Lord be with thee!  Blessed art thou among women!  Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus!  Mother of God!  Pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death, Amen.”