Another consideration which could not escape me in going over these letters, was that my good father, with the best intentions, had done me a special mischief, and had led me into that odd way of life into which I had fallen at last.  He had repeatedly warned me against card-playing; but Frau Hofrath Boehme, as long as she lived, contrived to persuade me, after her own fashion, by declaring that my father’s warnings were only against the abuse.  Now, as I likewise saw the advantages of it in society, I readily submitted to being led by her.  I had indeed the sense of play, but not the spirit of play:  I learned all games easily and rapidly, but I could never keep up the proper attention for a whole evening.  Therefore, however good a beginning I would make, I invariably failed at the end, and made myself and others lose; through which I went off, always out of humor, either to the supper-table or out of the company.  Scarcely had Madame Boehme died, who, moreover, had no longer kept me in practice during her tedious illness, when my father’s doctrine gained force:  I at first begged to be excused from joining the card-tables; and, as they now did not know what else to do with me, I became even more of a burden to myself than to others, and declined the invitations, which then became more rare, and at last ceased altogether.  Play, which is much to be recommended to young people, especially to those who incline to be practical, and wish to look about in the world for themselves, could never, indeed, become a passion with me; for I never got any farther, no matter how long I might have been playing.  Had any one given me a general view of the subject, and made me observe how here certain signs and more or less of chance form a kind of material, at which judgment and activity can exercise themselves; had any one made me see several games at once,—­I might sooner have become reconciled.  With all this, at the time of which I am now speaking, I had, from the above considerations, come to the conviction, that one should not avoid social games, but should rather strive after a certain skill in them.  Time is infinitely long; and each day is a vessel into which a great deal may be poured, if one would actually fill it up.

Thus variously was I occupied in my solitude; the more so, as the departed spirits of the different tastes to which I had from time to time devoted myself had an opportunity to re-appear.  I then again took up drawing:  and as I always wished to labor directly from nature, or rather from reality, I made a picture of my chamber, with its furniture, and the persons who were in it; and, when this no more amused me, I represented all sorts of town-tales, which were told at the time, and in which interest was taken.  All this was not without character and a certain taste; but unfortunately the figures lacked proportion and the proper vigor, besides which the execution was extremely misty.  My father, who continued to take pleasure in these things, wished to have them