The Innocents Abroad — Volume 04 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 101 pages of information about The Innocents Abroad — Volume 04.

The Innocents Abroad — Volume 04 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 101 pages of information about The Innocents Abroad — Volume 04.

They put me in another part of the barn and laid me on a stuffy sort of pallet, which was not made of cloth of gold, or Persian shawls, but was merely the unpretending sort of thing I have seen in the negro quarters of Arkansas.  There was nothing whatever in this dim marble prison but five more of these biers.  It was a very solemn place.  I expected that the spiced odors of Araby were going to steal over my senses now, but they did not.  A copper-colored skeleton, with a rag around him, brought me a glass decanter of water, with a lighted tobacco pipe in the top of it, and a pliant stem a yard long, with a brass mouth-piece to it.

It was the famous “narghili” of the East—­the thing the Grand Turk smokes in the pictures.  This began to look like luxury.  I took one blast at it, and it was sufficient; the smoke went in a great volume down into my stomach, my lungs, even into the uttermost parts of my frame.  I exploded one mighty cough, and it was as if Vesuvius had let go.  For the next five minutes I smoked at every pore, like a frame house that is on fire on the inside.  Not any more narghili for me.  The smoke had a vile taste, and the taste of a thousand infidel tongues that remained on that brass mouthpiece was viler still.  I was getting discouraged.  Whenever, hereafter, I see the cross-legged Grand Turk smoking his narghili, in pretended bliss, on the outside of a paper of Connecticut tobacco, I shall know him for the shameless humbug he is.

This prison was filled with hot air.  When I had got warmed up sufficiently to prepare me for a still warmer temperature, they took me where it was—­into a marble room, wet, slippery and steamy, and laid me out on a raised platform in the centre.  It was very warm.  Presently my man sat me down by a tank of hot water, drenched me well, gloved his hand with a coarse mitten, and began to polish me all over with it.  I began to smell disagreeably.  The more he polished the worse I smelt.  It was alarming.  I said to him: 

“I perceive that I am pretty far gone.  It is plain that I ought to be buried without any unnecessary delay.  Perhaps you had better go after my friends at once, because the weather is warm, and I can not ‘keep’ long.”

He went on scrubbing, and paid no attention.  I soon saw that he was reducing my size.  He bore hard on his mitten, and from under it rolled little cylinders, like maccaroni.  It could not be dirt, for it was too white.  He pared me down in this way for a long time.  Finally I said: 

“It is a tedious process.  It will take hours to trim me to the size you want me; I will wait; go and borrow a jack-plane.”

He paid no attention at all.

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
The Innocents Abroad — Volume 04 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.