Few things are more agreeable or more difficult, than to relate anecdotes with entire propriety.  They should be introduced gracefully, have fit connexion with the previous remarks, and be in perfect keeping with the company, the subject and the tone of the conversation; they should be short, witty and eloquent, and they should be new but not far-fetched.

In rapid and eager discourse, when persons are excited and impatient, as at a ball or in a promenade, repeat nothing but the spirit and soul of a story, leaping over the particulars.  There are however many places and occasions in which you may bring out the details with advantage, precisely, but not tediously.  When you repeat a true story be always extremely exact.  Mem.  Not to forget the point of your story, like most narrators.

When you are telling a flat anecdote by mistake, laugh egregiously, that others may do the same:  when you repeat a spirited and striking bon mot, be grave and composed, in order that others may not be the same.

For one who has travelled much, to hit the proper medium between too much reserve and too much intrusion, on the subject of his adventures, is not easy.  Such a person is expected to give amusement by pleasant histories of his travels, and it is agreeable that he should do so, yet with moderation; he should not reply to every remark by a memoir, commencing, “When I was in Japan.”

Rampant witticisms which require one to laugh, are apt to grow fatiguing:  it is better to have a sprightly and amusing vein running through your conversation, which, betraying no effort, allows one to be grave without offence, or to smile without pain.

Punning is now decidedly out of date.  It is a silly and displeasing thing, when it becomes a habit.  Some one has called it the wit of fools.  It is within the reach of the most trifling, and is often used by them to puzzle and degrade the wise.  Whatever may be its merits, it is now out of fashion.

It is respectable to go to church once on Sunday.  When you are there, behave with decency.  You should never walk in fashionable places on Sunday afternoon.  It is notoriously vulgar.  If your health requires you to take the air, you should seek some retired street.

In conversation avoid such phrases as “My dear sir or madam.”

A gentleman is distinguished as much by his composure as by any other quality.  His exertions are always subdued, and his efforts easy.  He is never surprised into an exclamation or startled by anything.  Throughout life he avoids what the French call scenes, occasions of exhibition, in which the vulgar delight.  He of course has feelings, but he never exhibits any to the world.  He hears of the death of his pointer or the loss of an estate with entire calmness when others are present.