something dangerous in the room, that at the first
hint of a movement on my part would be provoked to
pounce upon me. There was not much in the room—you
know how these bedrooms are—a sort of four-poster
bedstead under a mosquito-net, two or three chairs,
the table I was writing at, a bare floor. A glass
door opened on an upstairs verandah, and he stood
with his face to it, having a hard time with all possible
privacy. Dusk fell; I lit a candle with the greatest
economy of movement and as much prudence as though
it were an illegal proceeding. There is no doubt
that he had a very hard time of it, and so had I, even
to the point, I must own, of wishing him to the devil,
or on Walpole Reef at least. It occurred to me
once or twice that, after all, Chester was, perhaps,
the man to deal effectively with such a disaster.
That strange idealist had found a practical use for
it at once—unerringly, as it were.
It was enough to make one suspect that, maybe, he really
could see the true aspect of things that appeared
mysterious or utterly hopeless to less imaginative
persons. I wrote and wrote; I liquidated all the
arrears of my correspondence, and then went on writing
to people who had no reason whatever to expect from
me a gossipy letter about nothing at all. At
times I stole a sidelong glance. He was rooted
to the spot, but convulsive shudders ran down his
back; his shoulders would heave suddenly. He
was fighting, he was fighting—mostly for
his breath, as it seemed. The massive shadows,
cast all one way from the straight flame of the candle,
seemed possessed of gloomy consciousness; the immobility
of the furniture had to my furtive eye an air of attention.
I was becoming fanciful in the midst of my industrious
scribbling; and though, when the scratching of my
pen stopped for a moment, there was complete silence
and stillness in the room, I suffered from that profound
disturbance and confusion of thought which is caused
by a violent and menacing uproar—of a heavy
gale at sea, for instance. Some of you may know
what I mean: that mingled anxiety, distress,
and irritation with a sort of craven feeling creeping
in—not pleasant to acknowledge, but which
gives a quite special merit to one’s endurance.
I don’t claim any merit for standing the stress
of Jim’s emotions; I could take refuge in the
letters; I could have written to strangers if necessary.
Suddenly, as I was taking up a fresh sheet of notepaper,
I heard a low sound, the first sound that, since we
had been shut up together, had come to my ears in
the dim stillness of the room. I remained with
my head down, with my hand arrested. Those who
have kept vigil by a sick-bed have heard such faint
sounds in the stillness of the night watches, sounds
wrung from a racked body, from a weary soul.
He pushed the glass door with such force that all
the panes rang: he stepped out, and I held my
breath, straining my ears without knowing what else
I expected to hear. He was really taking too
much to heart an empty formality which to Chester’s