Lord Jim eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 490 pages of information about Lord Jim.

Lord Jim eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 490 pages of information about Lord Jim.
plan of evasion—­I may call it—­in all its primitive simplicity.  There were the rupees—­absolutely ready in my pocket and very much at his service.  Oh! a loan; a loan of course—­and if an introduction to a man (in Rangoon) who could put some work in his way . . .  Why! with the greatest pleasure.  I had pen, ink, and paper in my room on the first floor And even while I was speaking I was impatient to begin the letter—­day, month, year, 2.30 A.M. . . . for the sake of our old friendship I ask you to put some work in the way of Mr. James So-and-so, in whom, &c., &c. . . .  I was even ready to write in that strain about him.  If he had not enlisted my sympathies he had done better for himself—­he had gone to the very fount and origin of that sentiment he had reached the secret sensibility of my egoism.  I am concealing nothing from you, because were I to do so my action would appear more unintelligible than any man’s action has the right to be, and—­in the second place—­to-morrow you will forget my sincerity along with the other lessons of the past.  In this transaction, to speak grossly and precisely, I was the irreproachable man; but the subtle intentions of my immorality were defeated by the moral simplicity of the criminal.  No doubt he was selfish too, but his selfishness had a higher origin, a more lofty aim.  I discovered that, say what I would, he was eager to go through the ceremony of execution, and I didn’t say much, for I felt that in argument his youth would tell against me heavily:  he believed where I had already ceased to doubt.  There was something fine in the wildness of his unexpressed, hardly formulated hope.  “Clear out!  Couldn’t think of it,” he said, with a shake of the head.  “I make you an offer for which I neither demand nor expect any sort of gratitude,” I said; “you shall repay the money when convenient, and . . .”  “Awfully good of you,” he muttered without looking up.  I watched him narrowly:  the future must have appeared horribly uncertain to him; but he did not falter, as though indeed there had been nothing wrong with his heart.  I felt angry—­not for the first time that night.  “The whole wretched business,” I said, “is bitter enough, I should think, for a man of your kind . . .”  “It is, it is,” he whispered twice, with his eyes fixed on the floor.  It was heartrending.  He towered above the light, and I could see the down on his cheek, the colour mantling warm under the smooth skin of his face.  Believe me or not, I say it was outrageously heartrending.  It provoked me to brutality.  “Yes,” I said; “and allow me to confess that I am totally unable to imagine what advantage you can expect from this licking of the dregs.”  “Advantage!” he murmured out of his stillness.  “I am dashed if I do,” I said, enraged.  “I’ve been trying to tell you all there is in it,” he went on slowly, as if meditating something unanswerable.  “But after all, it is my trouble.”  I opened my mouth to retort, and discovered suddenly that I’d lost
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Lord Jim from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.