blue eyes of his glowering darkly under a frown, as
if before something unbearable, as if before something
revolting. There was imagination in that hard
skull of his, over which the thick clustering hair
fitted like a cap. As to me, I have no imagination
(I would be more certain about him today, if I had),
and I do not mean to imply that I figured to myself
the spirit of the land uprising above the white cliffs
of Dover, to ask me what I—returning with
no bones broken, so to speak—had done with
my very young brother. I could not make such
a mistake. I knew very well he was of those about
whom there is no inquiry; I had seen better men go
out, disappear, vanish utterly, without provoking
a sound of curiosity or sorrow. The spirit of
the land, as becomes the ruler of great enterprises,
is careless of innumerable lives. Woe to the
stragglers! We exist only in so far as we hang
together. He had straggled in a way; he had not
hung on; but he was aware of it with an intensity
that made him touching, just as a man’s more
intense life makes his death more touching than the
death of a tree. I happened to be handy, and
I happened to be touched. That’s all there
is to it. I was concerned as to the way he would
go out. It would have hurt me if, for instance,
he had taken to drink. The earth is so small
that I was afraid of, some day, being waylaid by a
blear-eyed, swollen-faced, besmirched loafer, with
no soles to his canvas shoes, and with a flutter of
rags about the elbows, who, on the strength of old
acquaintance, would ask for a loan of five dollars.
You know the awful jaunty bearing of these scarecrows
coming to you from a decent past, the rasping careless
voice, the half-averted impudent glances—those
meetings more trying to a man who believes in the solidarity
of our lives than the sight of an impenitent death-bed
to a priest. That, to tell you the truth, was
the only danger I could see for him and for me; but
I also mistrusted my want of imagination. It might
even come to something worse, in some way it was beyond
my powers of fancy to foresee. He wouldn’t
let me forget how imaginative he was, and your imaginative
people swing farther in any direction, as if given
a longer scope of cable in the uneasy anchorage of
life. They do. They take to drink too.
It may be I was belittling him by such a fear.
How could I tell? Even Stein could say no more
than that he was romantic. I only knew he was
one of us. And what business had he to be romantic?
I am telling you so much about my own instinctive
feelings and bemused reflections because there remains
so little to be told of him. He existed for me,
and after all it is only through me that he exists
for you. I’ve led him out by the hand;
I have paraded him before you. Were my commonplace
fears unjust? I won’t say—not
even now. You may be able to tell better, since
the proverb has it that the onlookers see most of
the game. At any rate, they were superfluous.
He did not go out, not at all; on the contrary, he