SCENE XII.

Ambition.

“He was ambitious, and I slew him.”

What carried Captain Ross to the North Pole?  “A ship to be sure!” exclaims some matter-of-fact gentleman.  Reader!  It was ambition!

What made barber Ross survey the poll, make wigs, and puff away even when powder was exploded?  What caused him to seek the applause of the ‘nobs’ among the cockneys, and struggle to obtain the paradoxical triplicate dictum that he was a werry first-rate cutter!’ What made him a practical Tory? (for he boasts of turning out the best wigs in the country!)

What induces men to turn theatrical managers when a beggarly account of empty boxes nightly proves the Drama is at a discount—­all benefits visionary, and the price of admission is regarded as a tax, and the performers as ex-actors?——­when they get scarcely enough to pay for lights, and yet burn their fingers?—­Ambition

The candidate for the county cringes, and flatters the greasy unwashed ten-pounders, in order to get at the head of the poll—­so likewise the bumpkin (in imitation of his superior) rubs his hand in the dirt to enable him to cling fast, and reach the top of the soap’d poll, whereon the tempting prize is displayed.  And, what prompts them both to the contest?—­Ambition!

What is the ‘primum mobile,’ of the adventurous Aeronaut, Mr. Green, one of the most rising men of the day, who aspires even unto the very clouds, and in his elevation looks upon all men of woman born as far beneath him?—­Ambition!

What prompts the soldier who spends half-a-crown out of sixpence a-day to thrust his head into the cannon’s mouth, to convince the world that he is desirous of obtaining a good report and that he is fearless of the charge?—­Ambition!

What makes the beardless school-boy leap ditches and over posts at the risk of his neck, and boast that he’ll do another’s dags’—­or the sporting man turn good horses into filthy dog’s meat, in riding so many miles in so many minutes?—­Ambition!

What magic influence operates upon the senses of the barrister (a scholar and a gentleman) to exert his winning eloquence and ingenuity in the cause of a client, who, in his conscience, he knows to be both morally and legally unworthy of the luminous defence put forth to prove the trembling culprit more sinned against than sinning?—­Ambition!

What urges the vulgar costermonger to bestride his long-ear’d Arabian, and belabor his panting sides with merciless stick and iron-shod heels to impel him to the goal in the mimic race—­or the sleek and polish’d courtier to lick the dust of his superiors’ feet to obtain a paltry riband or a star?—­Ambition!

SCENE XIII.

Better luck next time.

The lamentation of Joe Grishin.