repeated the operation for the sake of that ravishing expression.  Pointing his knife at a pat of butter, he poetically exclaimed, “My heart is jist like that—­and you have made a himpression on it as time will never put out!” “I did’nt think as you were quite so soft neither,” said the widow.  “I ham,” replied the suitor—­“and there,” continued he, cutting a hot roll, and introducing the pat, “I melts as easily afore the glance of your beautiful heyes!” Resolved to carry on the campaign with spirit, he called for two glasses of brandy and water, stiff, and three cigars!  And now, becoming sentimental and communicative, he declared, with his hand upon his heart, that “hif there vos a single thing in life as would make him completely happy, it vos a vife!”

SCENE XXI.

The Courtship of Mr. Wiggins.

Mr. Wiggins was so intoxicated with love, brandy-and-water and cigars, that he scarcely knew how he reached home.  He only remembered that he was very dizzy, and that his charming widow—­his guide and friend—­had remonstrated with him upon the elevation of his style, and the irregularity of his progression.

With his head in his hand, and a strong “dish of tea” without milk, before him, he was composing himself for business the following morning, when an unexpected visitor was announced.

“Please, sir, there’s Mrs. Warner’s ’s boy as wants to speak vith you,” said his landlady.

“Show him up,” languidly replied our lover, throwing his aching head from his right to his left hand.

“Vell, Jim, vot’s the matter!” demanded he—­“How’s your missus?”

“She ain’t no missus o’ mine no longer,” replied Jim.

“How?”

“I tell you vot it is, sir, she promised to give me a shillin’-aweek an’ my feed; an’ she ain’t done vun thing nor t’ other; for I’m bless’d if I ain’t starved, and ain’t seen the color of her money sin’ I bin there.  Father’s goin’ to summon her.”

“It’s some mistake, sure?”

“It’s no mistake tho’,” persisted Jim, “an’ I can tell you she ain’t got a farden to bless herself vith!—­an’ she’s over head-and-ears in debt too, I can tell you; an’ she pays nobody—­puttin’ ’em all off, vith promises to pay wen she’s married.”

“My heye!” exclaimed the excited Wiggins, thrown all a-back by this very agreeable intention upon his funds.

“More nor that, sir,” continued the revengeful Jim, “I know she thinks as she’s hooked a preshus flat, an’ means to marry you outright jist for vot she can get.  An’ von’t she scatter the dibs?—­that’s all; she’s the extravagantest ’ooman as hever I came anigh to.”

“But, (dear me! ) she has a good stock—?”

“Dummies, sir, all dummies.”

“Dummies?”

“Yes, sir; the sugars on the shelves is all dummies—­wooden ’uns, done up in paper!  The herrin’ tub is on’y got a few at top—­the rest’s all shavins an’ waste.—­There’s plenty o’ salt to be sure—­but the werry soap-box is all made up.”