At hearing this stuff, I could not forbear laughing, notwithstanding my anger.  You impertinent prattler, said I, will you have done, and begin to shave me?

Sir, replied the barber to me, you affront me in calling me a prattler; on the contrary, all the world gives me the honourable title of Silent.  I had six brothers that you might justly have called prattlers; and that you may know them the better, the name of the first was Bacbouc, of the second Backbarah of the third Backback, of the fourth Barbarak, of the fifth Alnaschar, of the sixth Schacabac.  These indeed were impertinent noisy fellows; but as for me, who am a younger brother, I am grave and concise in my discourses.

For God’s sake, gentlemen, do but suppose you had been in my place.  What could I say when I felt myself so cruelly tortured?  Give him three pieces of gold, said I to the slave that was my housekeeper, and send him away, that he may disturb me no more; I will not be shaved this day.  Sir, said the barber, what do you mean by that?  I did not come to seek for you, it was you that sent for me; and since it is so, I swear by the faith of a Mussulman, I will not stir out of these doors till I have shaved you:  if you do not know my value, that is not my fault.  Your deceased father did me more justice.  Every time he sent for me to let blood, he made me sit down by him, and was charmed to hear the fine things I talked of.  I kept him in a continual strain of admiration, and ravished him; when I had finished my discourses, My God, would he cry, you are an inexhaustible source of sciences; no man can reach the depth of your knowledge.  My dear sir, said I again, you do me more honour than I deserve:  If I say any thing that is fine, it is owing to the favourable audience you vouchsafe me; it is your liberality that inspires me with the sublime thoughts that have the happiness to please you.  One day, when he was charmed with an admirable discourse I had made, Give him, says he, an hundred pieces of gold, and invest him with one of my richest robes.  I received the present upon the spot, and presently I drew his horoscope, and found it the happiest in the world.  Nay, I was grateful still, and bled him with cupping glasses.

This was not all:  The barber spinned out, besides, another harangue that was a half hour long.  Fatigued with hearing him, and fretted at the time which was spent before I was half ready, I did not know what to say.  No, said I, it is impossible there should be such another man in the world, that takes pleasure, as you do, in making people mad.

I thought that I should succeed better if I dealt mildly with my barber.  In the name of God, said I, leave off all your fine discourses, and despatch me presently; I am called to attend an affair of the last importance, as I have told you already.  Then he fell a laughing:  It would be a laudable thing, said he, if our minds were always in the same strain; if we were wise and prudent:  however, I am willing