While they thus entertained one another, we went into the hot-house that had been heated for Trimalchio; and being now recovered of our drunkenness, were brought into another room, where Fortunata had set out a fresh entertainment.  Above the lamps I observed some women’s gewgaws.  The tables were massy silver, the earthen ware double gilt, and a conduit running with wine; when, quoth Trimalchio, “This day, my friends, a servant of mine opened a barber’s shop; he’s well to pass, a thrifty fellow, and a favourite of mine:  Come, let the floor have a drink as well as our selves; and for our part, we’ll sit to it till day-light.”

While he was yet speaking, a cock crow’d, at which Trimalchio grew disordered, and commanded the wine to be thrown under table, and sprinkle the larnps with it; then changing a ring to his right hand, “it is not for nothing,” said he, “this trumpeter has given us notice; for either the house should be on fire, or one of the neighbourhood will kill himself:  Far from us be it, and therefore, whoever brings me this discoverer I’ll give him a reward.”

When immediately a cock was brought in, and Trimalchio, commanding to have him drest he was torn in pieces by that exquisite cook, who a little before had make us fish and fowl of a hog, and put in a stew-pan, and while Daedalus was taking a lusty draught, Fortunata ground pepper.

After which Trimalchio taking some of the banquet, bid the waiters go to supper, and let others supply their places.

Whereupon came in another rank of servants, and as the former going cry’d out, “Farewell, Caius,” those coming in cry’d out, “Sit thou merry, Caius.”

And here our mirth first began to be disturb’d; for a beautiful boy coming in among those new servants, Trimalchio plucked the boy to him, and did nothing but kiss him over and over:  Whereupon Fortunata to maintain her right, began to rail at Trimalchio, called him pitiful fellow, one that could not bridle his lust, shame and dishonour to an honest woman, and a very dog.  Trimalchio on the other hand, all confounded and vex’d at her taunts, threw a goblet at her head:  She fell a roaring as if she had lost an eye, and clapt both her hands before it.

Scintilla also stood amazed, and covered Fortunata all trembling as she was, in her bosom; the boy also put a cold pitcher to her cheek, on which she leaned and made a lamentable wailing and blubbing.

But Trimalchio quite contrary; “for,” said he, “what am I the better for this graceless buttock?  ’Tis well known I took her out of a bawdy-house, and made her an honest woman, but now blown up like a frog she bespatters herself; a very block, no woman:  But this poor boy born in a hovel, never dreams of palaces.  May my good genius so befriend me, as I’ll bring down this seeming saint, but in her actions a whore rampant:  As inconsiderable as she makes me, I might have had a wife with two hundred and fifty pistols; you know