The bishop.  Dont be uncharitable, Anthony.  You must give us your best advice.

Soames.  My advice to you all is to do your duty by taking the Christian vows of celibacy and poverty.  The Church was founded to put an end to marriage and to put an end to property.

Mrs Bridgenorth.  But how could the world go on, Anthony?

Soames.  Do your duty and see.  Doing your duty is your business:  keeping the world going is in higher hands.

Lesbia.  Anthony:  youre impossible.

Soames [taking up his pen] You wont take my advice.  I didnt expect you would.  Well, I await your instructions.

Reginald.  We got stuck on the first clause.  What should we begin with?

Soames.  It is usual to begin with the term of the contract.

Edith.  What does that mean?

Soames.  The term of years for which it is to hold good.

Leo.  But this is a marriage contract.

Soames.  Is the marriage to be for a year, a week, or a day?

Reginald.  Come, I say, Anthony!  Youre worse than any of us.  A day!

Soames.  Off the path is off the path.  An inch or a mile:  what does it matter?

Leo.  If the marriage is not to be for ever, I’ll have nothing to do with it.  I call it immoral to have a marriage for a term of years.  If the people dont like it they can get divorced.

Reginald.  It ought to be for just as long as the two people like.  Thats what I say.

Collins.  They may not agree on the point, sir.  It’s often fast with one and loose with the other.

Lesbia.  I should say for as long as the man behaves himself.

The bishop.  Suppose the woman doesnt behave herself?

Mrs Bridgenorth.  The woman may have lost all her chances of a good marriage with anybody else.  She should not be cast adrift.

Reginald.  So may the man!  What about his home?

Leo.  The wife ought to keep an eye on him, and see that he is comfortable and takes care of himself properly.  The other man wont want her all the time.

Lesbia.  There may not be another man.

Leo.  Then why on earth should she leave him?

Lesbia.  Because she wants to.

Leo.  Oh, if people are going to be let do what they want to, then I call it simple immorality. [She goes indignantly to the oak chest, and perches herself on it close beside Hotchkiss].

Reginald [watching them sourly] You do it yourself, dont you?

Leo.  Oh, thats quite different.  Dont make foolish witticisms,
Rejjy.

The bishop.  We dont seem to be getting on.  What do you say, Mr
Alderman?