Leo.  Oh!  Rejjy has said something clever!  Can I be mistaken in him?

Hotchkiss comes back with a blotter and some paper.  He takes the vacant place in the middle of the table between Lesbia and the Bishop.

Collins.  I tell you the truth, my lord and ladies and gentlemen:  I dont trust my judgment on this subject.  Theres a certain lady that I always consult on delicate points like this.  She has a very exceptional experience, and a wonderful temperament and instinct in affairs of the heart.

Hotchkiss.  Excuse me, Mr Alderman:  I’m a snob; and I warn you that theres no use consulting anyone who will not advise us frankly on class lines.  Marriage is good enough for the lower classes:  they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.  What is the social position of this lady?

Collins.  The highest in the borough, sir.  She is the Mayoress.  But you need not stand in awe of her, sir.  She is my sister-in-law. [To the Bishop] Ive often spoken of her to your lady, my lord. [To Mrs Bridgenorth] Mrs George, maam.

Mrs Bridgenorth [startled] Do you mean to say, Collins, that Mrs George is a real person?

Collins [equally startled] Didnt you believe in her, maam?

Mrs Bridgenorth.  Never for a moment.

The bishop.  We always thought that Mrs George was too good to be true.  I still dont believe in her, Collins.  You must produce her if you are to convince me.

Collins [overwhelmed] Well, I’m so taken aback by this that—­Well I never!!!  Why! shes at the church at this moment, waiting to see the wedding.

The bishop.  Then produce her. [Collins shakes his head].Come, Collins! confess.  Theres no such person.

Collins.  There is, my lord:  there is, I assure you.  You ask George.  It’s true I cant produce her; but you can, my lord.

The bishop.  I!

Collins.  Yes, my lord, you.  For some reason that I never could make out, she has forbidden me to talk about you, or to let her meet you.  Ive asked her to come here of a wedding morning to help with the flowers or the like; and she has always refused.  But if you order her to come as her Bishop, she’ll come.  She has some very strange fancies, has Mrs George.  Send your ring to her, my lord—­he official ring—­send it by some very stylish gentleman—­ perhaps Mr Hotchkiss here would be good enough to take it—­and she’ll come.

The bishop [taking off his ring and handing it to Hotchkiss] Oblige me by undertaking the mission.

Hotchkiss.  But how am I to know the lady?

Collins.  She has gone to the church in state, sir, and will be attended by a Beadle with a mace.  He will point her out to you; and he will take the front seat of the carriage on the way back.

Hotchkiss.  No, by heavens!  Forgive me, Bishop; but you are asking too much.  I ran away from the Boers because I was a snob.  I run away from the Beadle for the same reason.  I absolutely decline the mission.