The general.  And I was a lieutenant in a line regiment.

Reginald.  And I was nothing.  But we’re all our own and one another’s equals, arnt we?  So perhaps when youve quite done talking about yourselves, we shall get to whatever business Sinjon came about.

Hotchkiss [coming off the table hastily] my dear fellow.  I beg a thousand pardons.  Oh! true, It’s about the wedding?

The general.  What about the wedding?

Hotchkiss.  Well, we cant get our man up to the scratch.  Cecil has locked himself in his room and wont see or speak to any one.  I went up to his room and banged at the door.  I told him I should look through the keyhole if he didnt answer.  I looked through the keyhole.  He was sitting on his bed, reading a book. [Reginald rises in consternation.  The General recoils].  I told him not to be an ass, and so forth.  He said he was not going to budge until he had finished the book.  I asked him did he know what time it was, and whether he happened to recollect that he had a rather important appointment to marry Edith.  He said the sooner I stopped interrupting him, the sooner he’d be ready.  Then he stuffed his fingers in his ears; turned over on his elbows; and buried himself in his beastly book.  I couldnt get another word out of him; so I thought I’d better come here and warn you.

Reginald.  This looks to me like theyve arranged it between them.

The bishop.  No.  Edith has no sense of humor.  And Ive never seen a man in a jocular mood on his wedding morning.

Collins appears in the tower, ushering in the bridegroom, a young gentleman with good looks of the serious kind, somewhat careworn by an exacting conscience, and just now distracted by insoluble problems of conduct.

Collins [announcing] Mr Cecil Sykes. [He retires].

Hotchkiss.  Look here, Cecil:  this is all wrong.  Youve no business here until after the wedding.  Hang it, man! youre the bridegroom.

Sykes [coming to the Bishop, and addressing him with dogged desperation] Ive come here to say this.  When I proposed to Edith I was in utter ignorance of what I was letting myself in for legally.  Having given my word, I will stand to it.  You have me at your mercy:  marry me if you insist.  But take notice that I protest. [He sits down distractedly in the railed chair].

The general {both } What the devil do you mean by
              {highly } This?  What the—­
Reginald {incensed} Confound your impertinence,
                             what do you—­

Hotchkiss { } Easy, Rejjy.  Easy, old man.  Steady, steady.
            { } [Reginald subsides into his chair.  Hotchkiss
            { } sits on his right, appeasing him.]
The bishop { } No, please, Rej.  Control yourself, Boxer, I
                  beg you.